#c: orphan!kurt

[klaineccfanficlibrary]

Hi, I don't speak much English so I hope you understand TsT I was looking for a fic where Blaine is a sub and Kurt is his dom, but I think an accident happens that makes Kurt forget that Blaine is his sub. I don't remember his name and was sure he had it, but I can't find it :c

Here ya go. ~Lynne

Running Around In Limbo by orphan account   [PDF and EPUB]

Written for the gleekinkmeme prompt: "tl;dr: Kurt is amnesic and doesn't remember becoming Blaine's Dom, leaving sub!Blaine without a subspace."

[hkvoyage]

I am a real old lady, living in Israel, and I am a Klaine-MPreg addict. Do you have a list, or know of a list, of these stories. The regular klaine list (Lynne & Zinnia) doesn't have one. Thanks. OLK

A search for completed mpreg fics resulted in 183 fics on AO3 and 125 fics on FF.net. Here are the search results on S&C. Judging by the number of hits or favorites on these stories, there are plenty of readers that like mpreg!Klaine fics.

Under the cut are 11 mpreg!Kurt fics and 17 mpreg!Blaine fics. I placed an asterisk against the authors who have written a few mpreg stories.

Warning: Some of these also contain boypussy. Make sure you read the tags or author comments if this bothers you. Happy reading! HKVoyage

MPREG KURT

Who Says by Karanoaoi *

Wolves mate for life once an Alpha claims their Omega mate, but the ways of choosing your mate are changing from the traditional meets where all non-mated wolves of age are thrown in together and you end up with a mate. Alphas still have to start a mating run, but what if the Omega has their eye on a certain Alpha? Follow the Anderson and Hummel families through these changes. A generational fic starting with Grandma Anderson and going through Kurt and Blaines generation. 

Note: Part 1 of the The Life of a Werewolf series

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Not As It Seems by fearlessly

Blaine had been frozen where he stood. The boy in front of him was gorgeous. He had never seen a creature so beautiful in his life and quite frankly, Blaine was awestruck. His eyes, they were like raging ocean storms yet they were gentle, inviting, and so utterly … organic.

~~~~~

The Ultimate Christmas Present by LilLizzie94

Blaine has been in Afghanistan for the past 7 months and Kurt has been home by himself…they recieved some interesting news right before he was deployed…Kurt was pregnant. Blaine has come home early to surprise Kurt for christmas…but he’s not the only surprise in store for the two. MPREG don’t like… Don’t read.

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I’ll Be Home for Christmas by DreamingisBelieving

Imagine person A from your OTP is pregnant during Christmas and for some reason of your choice, person B won’t be home for Christmas, leaving person A alone. 

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The Anderson Rose by missbeizy *

In the mountains of what was once the Northeastern United States of America, the descendants of a band of refugees who had escaped New York City at the end of a great World War are beginning to thrive after almost a thousand years of struggle. Relying on a combination of bits and pieces of advanced technology salvaged from the remains of great cities, as well as the still-pristine forest that they now call home, the people of Westerville are determined to rebuild a world in which peace, love, and cooperation mean more than victory, greed, and wealth. 

~~~~~

Wont Tell Anyone by karanoaoi *

The Royal family has never had a problem securing their claim to the throne. That was until now. The King and Queen have been unable to bear any children passed their only son, Blaine. Now when their reign is threatened by other Nobel families that declare their family as weak, they turn to the one way they know that will show everyone their family line has not ended. Having their son marry and produce a strong line of heirs.

Sequel: Make a Move

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Be Still My Heart by witchcraftandclickery

During a stressful and almost disastrous Black Friday Shopping adventure for Kurt, he meets and is saved by a strange older man. As their friendship progresses, so does their relationship. After falling in love with the perfect man, Kurt finds out he’s pregnant. Age!difference Older!Blaine 

Note: Although this fic is not marked as completed, the reviews of the final chapter indicate that it is. It is easy to overlook marking a fic as completed on FF.net.

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I Will by witchcraftandclickery 

Kurt, cheerleader with the jock boyfriend is failing English. Blaine, nerd with a crush is actually really good at English. Kurt is sent to Blaine for tutoring, where one thing leads to another. A few weeks later, Kurt learns he is pregnant. MPREG. GKM fill.

~~~~~

Come Take My Hand Now by controlofwhatido

Post 4x14 AU where Blaine finds out he's pregnant (instead of Rachel).

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Men, Babies and Other Disasters by TheWhiteOwl

Kurt, the 30-year-old successful fashion designer is desperate for a child. He visits a fertility clinic but he soon realizes that getting pregnant won’t be as easy as it first seemed. But than he bumps into Blaine, a cute and hot guy and it changes everything.A quick decision. Just one night with a stranger… Blaine doesn’t even have to about it. Too bad Blaine seems to be everywhere Kurt goes and it makes avoiding him a little bit complicated.

~~~~~

Ontás lýkos by Verseau_87

Back from New York and visiting his parent's during summer vacation, Kurt (literally) bumps into Blaine. Another werewolf like him. Their love is quick and easy, but it seems life is never that simple. Trying to enjoy their time together and merge their respective packs, they both must navigate being in love, over coming every obstacle along the way.

Note: Part 1 of Being Wolves

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Three Times Blaine Doesn't Have Sex with Kurt, and the One Time He Does by ohmywhy

The one in which mpreg!Kurt and Blaine are just friends and shouldn’t be. BP!Kurt

MPREG BLAINE

Chances Verse by DreamingKate *

Kurt liked his new boyfriend but something was a little different about him.

~~~~~

The Odds by @gleeana *

Canon compliant with the show through the Klaine wedding, with the rather major twist that in this universe, men can become pregnant … and Kurt learns Blaine is pregnant soon after the wedding. A little too soon, given the circumstances.

This is a story about the power of love and family, and about the consequences of secrets.

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Baby Mine (Be My Baby) by anythingbutplatonic

Summary: Just weeks after he confessed to cheating when Kurt left for New York, Blaine discovers he’s pregnant. There’s no doubt in his mind that the baby is Kurt’s, but there’s no way anyone can know. Distraught after the break-up and afraid of being judged if anyone finds out, he decides to hide his pregnancy….until he can’t anymore. AU, obviously.

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Apple of My Eye by idoltina *

A fill for this GKM prompt. AU after The Break Up. Blaine finds out that he’s pregnant after Kurt breaks up with him (with Kurt’s child, no less). He tries telling Kurt about it, but Kurt refuses to talk to him. Blaine decides to finish his senior year at home and give the baby up for adoption. Only he doesn’t. He ends up keeping the baby – a daughter – and takes her to New York with him when he leaves for college. He raises her partially on his own with some help from his parents, and tries to juggle parenthood, school, and work. And everything works out okay for a little over two years – until he runs into Kurt.

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At the End of the Road by slaysvamps

AU from 4x10 Glee, Actually. Weeks after leaving Kurt in New York Blaine finds himself in a situation he never would have expected. With Kurt moving on with his life and ignoring him completely, Blaine must find a way handle things on his own. Until he doesn’t.

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What I Call Life by warblerslushie *

Kurt broke off the engagement and left Blaine. Three years later, Kurt’s at a strip club for his bachelor party and sees Blaine working. Blaine’s been working there and enduring uncomfortable glances and touches for a year to make sure that his son was properly cared for. MPREG. Based on a tumblr prompt from blangstpromptoftheday. 

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And Baby Makes Three by anythingbutplatonic

Klaine AU: A few weeks after Mr Schuester’s almost-wedding and the events that followed, Blaine starts having symptoms. Symptoms that appear to be a lot like pregnancy. 

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We’re In This Together Or Not At All. by zigzag18

Blaine Anderson’s life is about to be turned upside down. After a hook-up with head Cheerio Kurt Hummel, Blaine finds out he’s pregnant. He didn’t tell Kurt that he was a carrier, so how is he suppose to tell Kurt? How is he, a 17 year old high school senior suppose to take care of a baby? 

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Apartment 143 by idoltina *

Six years into their marriage, Kurt and Blaine are starting to be established enough in their careers to want to settle down into a more permanent residence. When they happen upon a refurbished apartment in an old building at a price that’s a steal, they immediately snatch it up. They settle into their new home over the summer, and after a fairly intoxicated and intimate Halloween, they find themselves expecting their family to grow by one more. But as the pregnancy progresses, so does the level of paranormal activity in their home. It doesn’t take long for them to bring in paranormal investigators to figure out what inhabits their home, if they can get rid of it, and how to protect themselves and their unborn child from it – if they can. 

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Spark Like Empty Lighters by atticrissfinch

It was supposed to just be a hook-up between student and teacher…and it was. But what will happen when Blaine reveals to Kurt that he’s pregnant with Kurt’s child? an mpreg!blaine au.

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When We’re Older by warblerslushie *

Kurt and Blaine have been married for several years and Blaine’s been wanting to start a family, especially since they’re getting older. However, with their work schedules and the fact that Kurt’s just not ready for kids right now, things have been slow within the Anderson-Hummel household. But what will happen when the couple receives some unexpected news?

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thought i could do this on my own by ShanleenKinnJaskey

Prince Kurt Hummel falls in love with Blaine Anderson, an orphan servant boy, and thankfully he returns Kurt’s affections. But what will happen when one night Blaine disappears, leaving only a letter behind that contains an unbelievable explanation? When, years later, Blaine appears with two sons in tow (one deadly ill), will Kurt finally learn the truth?

Note: Part 1 of the to be loved series

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Don’t Stop Believing by Julesmonster

Blaine is trying hard to win Kurt back now that they’re both going to be in New York, but even if he does, life has a few surprises in store for them, and not all of them are good. Warnings: MPreg, Character Death (Not Kurt or Blaine).

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Hold My Heart by universalromance

GKM Fill: Blaine is a carrier who is sold by his parents when they are in need of money. He is gifted to Kurt by his buyer in order to gain favour with newly elected Congressman Hummel. He is expecting to be mistreated the way he was always told but soon discovers that there is still good in some people.

Note: Part 1 of Treasure My Heart

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Heart Of Glass by framby

At the end of his senior year, Blaine left Kurt and Ohio without explanation. When they are forced to work together Kurt just wants to get it over with as painlessly as possible. Little does he know that Blaine's secret will turn his life upside down.

~~~~~

Nobody Said It Was Easy by Julesmonster

Following “The Breakup” Kurt and Blaine must discover where their relationship is going and if it will survive even as they face new problems. MPreg. Slash of the Klaine variety. Major spoilers for 4.4.

All Over Again by warblerslushie

Kurt and Blaine have been happily married for close to two decades and have three beautiful children. Not long after their oldest goes off to California to start college, they find out some very surprising news; the kind of news that really shakes up the whole family, especially when you're at that age where you've just started to get settled and ready for an empty nest. MPREG.

[chiseler]

The Head -- It Just Won’t Stay Dead

In the early 1960s, the overwhelming majority of European horror films imported to the United States were either British or Italian, the British films being easily understood and the Italian ones frequently pretending to be of British origin. Examples of French horror were rare (odd for a country whose cinema was so rooted in the fantastique), reaching an early apex with Georges Franju’s Eyes Without a Face (1960), which came to the US in a well-done English dub called The Horror Chamber of Dr. Faustus during the Halloween season of 1962.

Seldom paid much attention in retrospectives of this fertile period in continental horror cinema is a rare German example, Die Nackte und der Satan (“The Naked and the Devil,” 1959), which came to the US retitled The Head almost exactly one year before the arrival of the Franju masterpiece. Critics like to refer to The Head as “odd” and “atmospheric,” words that seem to disregard deeper consideration, never really coming to terms with it as anything but a sleazy shock trifle. However, it was in fact the product of a remarkable and rarely equaled concentration of accomplished patrimonies.

Consider this: The Head starred the great Swiss actor Michel Simon, renowned for his roles in Jean Renoir’s La Chienne and Boudu Saved From Drowning; it was directed by the Russian-born Victor Trivas, returning to his adopted homeland for the first time since directing Niemandsland (1932, aka No Man’s Land or Hell On Earth), a potent anti-war statement that was all but obliterated off the face of the earth by the Nazis when he fled the country, and who furthermore had written the story upon which Orson Welles’ The Stranger (1946) was based; it was photographed by Georg Krause, whose numerous international credits include Stanley Kubrick’s Paths of Glory (1957); its sets were designed by Hermann Warm, the genius responsible for such German Expressionist masterpieces as Robert Weine’s The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1919), Fritz Lang’s Destiny (1921), as well as Carl Dreyer’s The Passion of Joan of Arc (1928) and Vampyr (1932), and its score is a wild patchwork of library tracks by Willy Mattes, the Erwin Lehn Orchestra, and a group of avant garde musicians known as Lasry-Baschet, who would subsequently lend their eerie, ethereal music to Jean Cocteau’s The Testament of Orpheus (1960). If all this were not enough, The Head was also filmed at the Munich studios of Arnold Richter, the co-founder of the Arri Group, innovators of the famous Arriflex cameras and lenses.  

Though made after the 1957 horror breakthroughs made in Britain and Italy (Terence Fisher’s The Curse of Frankenstein, and I vampiri, co-directed by Riccardo Freda and Mario Bava), The Head represented a virtual revolutionary act in postwar Germany, where horror was then considered a genre to avoid. The project was proposed to Trivas by a young film producer named Wolfgang C. Hartwig, head of Munich’s Rapid-Film, whose claim to fame was initiating a niche of exploitation cinema known as Sittenfilme – literally “moral movies” – which, like many American exploitation films of the 1930s, maintained a higher, judgmental moral tone while telling the stories of people who slipped into lives of vice (prostitution, blackmail, drug addiction), their sordid experiences always leading them to a happy or at least bittersweet outcome. Though it goes quite a bit further than either Britain or Italy had yet gone in terms of sexualizing horror, The Head nevertheless checked all the boxes required for Sittenfilme and was undertaken by Hartwig in early 1959 as Rapid-Film’s most prestigious production to date.

After the main titles are spelled out over an undulating nocturnal fog, the story begins with a lurker’s shadow passing along outside the gated property of Prof. Dr. Abel. With its round head and wide-brimmed hat, it looks like the planet Saturn from the neck up. When this marauder pauses to pay some gentle attention to a passing tortoise, we get our first look at the film’s real star - Horst Frank, just thirty at the time, his clammy asexual aura topped off with prematurely graying hair and large triangular eyebrows that seem carried over from the days of German Expressionism. More bizarre still, he later gives his name as Dr. Ood, whose explanation is still more bizarre: at the age of three months old, he was orphaned, the sole survivor of a cataclysmic shipwreck .

“That was the name of the wrecked ship,” he explains. “S.S. Ood.”

The ambiguous Ood takes cover as another late night visitor comes calling: a hunchbacked woman wearing a nurse’s habit as outsized as an oxygen tent. This is Sister Irene Sanders (the screen debut of Karin Kernke, later seen in the Edgar Wallace krimi The Terrible People, 1960). Though Irene cuts a figure as ambiguous and unusual as any Franju ever filmed, she owes her greatest debt to Jane Adams’ hunchbacked Nina in Erle C. Kenton’s House of Dracula (1945). As with Nina, Irene lives in the hope that her deformity can be eradicated by the skill of a brilliant surgeon.

When Irene leaves after meeting with Dr. Abel, Ood presents himself with the written recommendation of a colleague he previously, supposedly, assisted. A burly old walrus of a man, Abel (Michel Simon) already has two younger associates, Dr. Walter Burke (Kurt Müller-Graf, “a first class surgeon”) and the handsome, muscular Burt Jaeger (Helmut Schmid), who hasn’t been quite the same since an unexplained brain operation. Both associates share a creative streak; Burke is also “an excellent architect, [who] designed this house,” while Jaeger “designed my special operating table; it allows me to work without assistants.” (So why does he have two of them? With names that sound the same, no less!) Given the high caliber of Hermann Warm’s talent as a production designer, Burke and Burt together are every bit as skilled in architecture as was Boris Karloff’s Hjalmar Poelzig in Edgar G. Ulmer’s The Black Cat (1934). The main floor of Abel’s sprawling house is dominated by a vast spiral stairwell, striking low-backed furniture, a mobile of dancing palette shapes, and an overpowering wall reproducing Leonardo da Vinci’s “The Virtuvian Man.” Down in the lab, Burt’s robotic surgical assistant looks as if it might have been conceived by the brain responsible for the Sadean mind control device in Jess Franco’s The Diabolical Dr. Z (1965) - a film that, along with Franco’s earlier The Awful Dr. Orlof (1962), seems considerably more indebted to Trivas on renewed acquaintance than to Franju. The film was shot in black-and-white and at no point inside Abel’s abode do the silvery, ivory surfaces admit even the possibility of pigment.

Adding to its effect, the music heard whenever the film cuts back to Abel’s place is anything but homey. It consists of a single, sustained electric keyboard chord played in a nightmarish loop that seems to chill and vibrate, its predictable arc punctuated now and again with icy spikes of cornet. Though I don’t recall reading any extensive discussion of the film’s music, The Head represents what is surely the most important advance in electronic music in the wake of Louis & Bebe Barron’s work on Forbidden Planet (1956). Though the film’s music credits list bandleader Willy Mattes, Jacques Lasry and the Edwin Lehr Orchestra with its music, the most important musical credit is displaced. Further down the screen is the unexplained “Sound Structure, Lasry-Baschet.”

Lasry-Baschet was a musical combination of two partnerships – that of brothers Francois and Bernard Baschet, and the husband-and-wife team of Jacques and Yvonne Lasry. The two brothers were musicians who played astonishing instruments of their own invention, like the Crystal Baschet (played with moistened fingers on glass rods), the Aluminum Piano, the Inflatable Guitar, the Rotating Whistler, and the Polytonal Percussion. The Lasry couple, originally a pianist and organist, began performing with the Baschets on their unique devices in the mid 1950s. Some of the music they produced during this period is collected on the albums Sonata Exotique (credited to Structures for Sound, covering the years 1957-1959) and Structures For Sound (credited to the Baschet Brothers alone, 1963), a vinyl release by the Museum of Modern Art. These and other recorded works can be found on YouTube, as well; they are deeply moving ambient journeys but I cannot say with certainty that they include any of the music from The Head. That said, the music they do collect is very much in its macabre character and would have also fit very well into Last Year At Marienbad (1961) or any of Franju’s remarkable films.

When Ood meets with Abel and expresses his keen interest in experimental research, the good doctor mentions that he has had success copying “the recent Russian surgery” that succeeded in keeping the severed head of a dog alive – however, his moral code prevents him from taking such experimentation still further. After leaving Abel, Ood finds his way to the Tam-Tam Club, a nightspot where a life-sized placard promotes the nightly performances of “Tam-Tam Super Sex Star Lilly.” This visit initiates a parallel storyline involving Lilly (Christiane Maybach), who supplements her striptease work as an artist’s model, and is the particular muse of the brooding Paul Lerner (Dieter Eppler), a man of only artistic ambition, much to the annoyance of his father, a prominent judge who wants him to study law. Maybach reportedly won her role the day before she began filming. According to news reports of the day, the actress originally cast – the voluptuous redhead Kai Fischer – had signed on to play the part, after which producer Hartwig decided she must also appear nude. Fisher sued Hartwig for breach of contract in March 1959 and he was sentenced to pay out a compensatory fee of DM 4,000 – in currency today, the equivalent of about $35,000. As it happens, Christiane Maybach doesn’t appear nude in the film’s final cut either.    

The English version of The Head opens with a credit sequence played out over a shot of the full moon taken from near the climax of the picture. Unusually, the German Die Nackte und der Satan doesn’t present its title onscreen until Lilly is ready to go on. It’s superimposed with inverted commas on pleated velvet curtains that suddenly rise, revealing a stage adorned by a single suit of armor. Lilly dances out, stage right, garbed in a medieval conical hat, scarves, a bikini and a black mask, performing her dance of the seven veils around the impervious man of metal. She only strips down to her bikini but her dance ends with her in the arms of the armor we assumed empty, which tightly embraces her as its visor pops open, revealing a man’s face wearing skull makeup. Lilly screams, the lights go out, and the house goes wild with applause – a veritable blueprint for the striptease of Estella Blain’s Miss Death in Franco’s The Diabolical Dr. Z (1965).

The music heard during the film’s Tam-Tam Club sequences was recorded by the  Erwin Lehn Orchestra, evidently with Jacques Lasry on piano, though its emphasis on brass is its outstanding characteristic. Erwin Lehn was a German jazz musician and composer who established the first German Big Band Orchestra for South German Radio. Brass was a major component of his sound – indeed, he made pop instrumental recordings credited to The Erwin Lehn Beat-Brass. You can find their album Beat Flames on YouTube, as well.

Backstage, the beautiful Lilly is a nagging brat, drinking and flirting with patrons while berating Paul’s lax ambitions on the side. Dieter Eppler, a frequent player in the Edgar Wallace krimis and also the lead bloodsucker in Roberto Mauri’s Italian Slaughter of the Vampires (1964), makes for inspired casting; he looks like a beefier, if less dynamic Kirk Douglas at a time when Vincente Minnelli’s Lust For Life (1956) would have still been in the minds of audiences.

Once Ood joins the payroll, Dr. Abel confesses that his heart is failing rapidly. The only means of saving himself and perpetuating his brilliant research is by doing the impossible – that is, transplanting the heart from a donor’s body into his own, which he insists is possible given his innovation of “Serum X.” What Abel could not foresee was that his own body would die during the procedure. Ood tells Burke that the only way to save Abel’s genius is to keep his head artificially alive, which his associate rejects uncatagorically, pushing Ood over the edge into murder. Then Ood proceeds with the operation,  working solo with Jaeger’s robo-assistant passing along surgical tools as he needs them. When Abel revives, Ood breaks his news of the procedure gently by holding up a mirror and exclaiming that he’d had “one last chance – to perform the dog operation on your head!” Abel screams in revulsion of what he has become. The conciliatory Ood gently cautions him, “Too much emotion can be extremely dangerous now.”

The severed head apparatus is a simple yet ingenious effect, shot entirely in-camera and credited to Theo Nischwitz. It utilizes what is generally known as a Schufftan shot, a technique made famous by spfx shots achieved by Eugen Schufftan for Fritz Lang’s Metropolis (1926). Essentially, Michel Simon was seated behind a pane of mirrored glass with all the apparatus seen from his neck up. The silvering on the reverse portion of the mirror was scraped away, allowing the camera to see through to Simon and the apparatus while reflecting the apparatus arrayed below his neck, in position for the camera to capture its reflection simultaneously. In at least one promotional photo issued for the film, Simon’s shoulders can be transparently glimpsed where they should not be.

Irene returns to meet with Dr. Abel and is surprised to find new employee Ood now alone and ruling the roost. When he offers to perform her operation himself, she instinctively distrusts and fears him – but is reassured after hearing Abel’s disembodied voice on the house’s sophisticated intercom.

After the killing and burial of Burke, whose body Bert Jaeger later finds thanks to the barking of Dr. Abel’s kenneled hounds (a detail that one imagines inspired Franju’s use of a kennel in Eyes Without a Face), the film introduces the dull but nevertheless compulsory police investigation, headed by Paul Dahlke as Police Commissioner Sturm. Sagging interest is buoyed by a surprise twist: when Dr. Ood returns to the Tam-Tam Club and asks the perpetually pissy Lilly to dance, he refers to her in passing as “Stella,” prompting her to recognize him as “Dr. Brandt” (the scorecard now reads Burke, Bert and Brandt), who has inside knowledge pertaining to her poisoning of her husband! Given that his  earlier writing projects include Orson Welles’ The Stranger and the bizarre Mexican-made Buster Keaton item Boom In the Moon (also 1946), in which an innocent shipwrecked sailor is rescued from his castaway existence only to find himself confused with a serial killer, Victor Trivas would seem partial to characters who live double lives.

Though Ood/Brandt’s aura is basically asexual through the first half of the film, the second half requires him to take an earthier interest in the female bodies finding their way into his hands. He takes the already tipsy Lilly/Stella home for a drink and some mischief.

“What’s in the glass?”

“Drink it and find out.”

“I hope it’s not poisoned.”

“That’s not my specialty, is it?”

Lilly/Stella becomes the necessary auto parts for Irene’s pending operation. In a nicely done montage, the film dissolves from Lilly’s unconscious body to a glint of light off the edge of Ood’s poised scalpel. It cuts to a curt zoom into Abel’s scream at being forced to watch a procedure he abhors, then a dissolve from his mouth to the spinning dials of a wall clock, followed by some time-lapse photography of cumulous clouds unfurling from an open sky, before Irene awakens in her recovery room with a decorative choker around her throat. She is able to gain her feet and covers her nude body in a sheet. She finds Ood lounging in Abel’s old office. He walks toward her as the sheet tumbles off her bare shoulders.

“How do you feel?” he asks.

“Well, I… I’ve a strange kind of feeling, as if my whole body were changed, as if my body didn’t want to do what I wished.”

Therefore, Ood has not only taken away her deformity but her responsibility for her actions, as well. Though she has never smoked before, she craves a cigarette. As Ood lights one for her,  her wrap falls further, undraping her entire bare back and thus exposing a birthmark on her left shoulder blade that becomes an important plot point. Ood confesses she’s been unconscious for 117 days, during which time he has passed the time by performing numerous enhancing procedures on her inert body. When he compliments her superb figure, she self-consciously covers her legs and recoils from him.

“Why run from everything you desire?” he asks. “You can’t run from yourself.”

He draws Irene into a surprising deep kiss, which – to her own apparent horror - she returns. Ood then tries to take things further but she refuses. After a brief (and surprisingly curtailed) attempt at abduction, he releases Irene, who dresses in a black cocktail dress and heels left behind by Lilly and returns to the humble apartment she kept in her previous life, where a full-length mirror stands covered. In a scene considerably shortened by the US version, she rips the cover away in a movement evocative of a symbolic self-rape, and glories in her new reflection.  The score turns torrid, brassy, and trashy as she admires her shapely terrain, fondling the curves of her breasts and hips in a prelude to a gratifying personal striptease. She then goes to her bed, where she tries on an old pair of slippers; she laughs and kicks them away, delighted at how small her feet now are. When she wakes the next morning, she finds a pamphlet for the Tam-Tam Club in Lilly’s old purse, which leads her body back to its former place of employ. When she arrives, another striptease artist is working onstage with a bed. This performance appears to burlesque Irene’s own motions from the night before; she kicks off one of her shoes as Irene had done.  

From the moment she walks into the club, still wearing Lilly’s clinging black dress, Irene evokes a black widow, a kind of Alraune – the femme fatale of Hanns Heinz Ewers’ novel, filmed in 1930 with Brigitte Helm and in 1952 by Hildegarde Knef. Like Alraune, she’s the beautiful creation of a mad scientist’s laboratory, but unnatural. In this case, she’s not really a soulless artificial being out to destroy men; on the contrary, she is soulful, starving for some insight into who she is, what she is. In this way, she particularly foreshadows Christina, the schizophrenic subject of Baron Frankenstein’s “soul transplant” played by Susan Denberg in Terence Fisher’s Frankenstein Created Woman (1966).

She quickly attracts Paul’s artist’s eye, just as the now-topless dancer onstage swirls into a swoon on a prop bed – unconsciously mimicking Lilly at the only time she ever saw her, when Ood gave her a sneak peek at the unconscious woman on his living room couch. She asks about Lilly, whom Paul mentions has been dead now for three months, her body (in fact, Irene’s former body) found maimed beyond recognition on some railroad tracks. He asks her to dance, but Irene refuses, as she has never danced, never been asked to dance before. But he insists and they both discover that she can: “You must be a born dancer!”

Beautiful and irresponsible, she allows herself to follow Paul back to his studio, where drawings of Lilly are displayed. Paul asks to draw her, and when she turns her back to bare her shoulders, he recognizes Lilly’s beauty mark. She flees from the apartment and confronts the unflappable Ood.

“You must have grafted her skin on my body!”

In the movie’s most hilarious line, he fires back, “You have a poor imagination!”

She rejects his true account of the procedure and demands to see Dr. Abel, so Ood takes her down to the lab for a personal confirmation from the man himself. Ashamed to be seen this way, Abel pleads with Irene to disconnect him from the apparatus. She is driven away before she can accomplish this, and tries to shut away the horror of the truth that’s been revealed by losing herself in her new relationship with Paul – but the old question arises: Does he love her for her body or her mind? There seems to be one answer when he first kisses her, and another and his lips venture further down her front.  

I should leave some things to be discovered by your own viewing of the film, but it demands to be mentioned that Irene – the triumphant climax of Ood’s genius, so to speak – actually survives at the end of the film to live happily ever after. Think about this. This is something that would have been considered unacceptable in any of Hammer’s Frankenstein films at the time – indeed, through the following decade. So, although Ood is ultimately destroyed (you’ll need to see it to find out how), the mad science he propounds is actually borne out. It’s left up to Paul and Irene, as they walk off together toward a new tomorrow, how they will manage to live with the fact that the two of them are in fact a ménage à trois. Will they keep the details of her existence a secret? Will medical science remain ignorant? Should they ever have any, what will they tell their kids?  

The Head was hardly the first word on severed heads in horror entertainment. In his own admiring coverage of the film, Euro Gothic author Jonathan Rigby likens the film to the story of Rene Berton’s 1928 Grand Guignol play L’Homme qui à tue la mort (“The Man Who Killed Death”): “There, Professor Fargus revived the guillotined head of a supposed murderer and the prosecutor lost his mind when the head continued to plead his innocence.” Earlier such films would include Universal’s Inner Sanctum thriller Strange Confession (1945, in which a never-seen severed head is a main plot point), The Man Without a Body (1957) and The Thing That Couldn’t Die (1958), the latter two proving that the concept was actually trending at the time The Head was made. Also parenthetically relevant would be She Demons (1958), which involves the nasty experiments of a renegade Nazi scientist living on an uncharted tropical island, who removes the “beauty glands” of native girls to periodically restore his wife’s good looks. Though The Head wasn’t the first of its kind, many of the traits it introduced would surface in similar films that followed – not only in Franju’s Eyes Without A Face or Franco’s The Awful Dr. Orlof and The Diabolical Dr. Z, but also in Anton Giulio Majano’s Italian Atom Age Vampire (1960), Chano Urueta’s The Living Head (1963), and most conspicuously in Joseph Green’s The Brain That Wouldn’t Die, not released until 1962 though filmed in 1959, some six months after The Head.

It must be mentioned that the film’s unusual quality did not go unrecognized by its American distributor. Trans-Lux Distributing Corporation advertised the film that took a most unusual approach to selling a horror picture. The ads did not promise blood, or that your companion would jump into your lap, or shock after shock after shock. Instead, Trans-Lux promised that “At The Head of All Masterpieces of Horror [my italics] That You’ve Ever Seen… You Must Place… The Head.”

Of course it was an overstatement, but the size of its overstatement would seem to have narrowed appreciably with time.

So why has The Head, with its rich pooling of so much European talent, been so neglected?

A key reason may be that horror fans like their actors and directors to maintain a certain consistency, a certain fidelity to the genre. Horst Frank (who died in 1999) would appear in other horror films, but never again played a lead; he pursued his career as a character actor and singer, maintaining a career on the stage and keeping close to home, never making films off the continent or appearing in productions originating from England or America. After The Head, Victor Trivas made no more horror films. The other four features he made had been produced a quarter century earlier and the majority are impossible to see in English countries. Those who remembered him for Niemandsland would have considered The Head an embarrassment, an unfortunate last act. It wasn’t quite a last act, however. The following year, he returned to America, where he sold his final script to the Warner Bros. television series The Roaring 20s, starring Dorothy Provine. Though the show avoided fantasy subjects, it was a voodoo-themed episode entitled “The Fifth Pin,” directed by Robert Spaar and televised during the series’ first season on April 8, 1961. The guest stars included John Dehner, Rex Reason, Patricia O’Neal and, surprisingly, beloved Roger Corman repertory player Dick Miller. Trivas died in New York City in 1970, at the age of 73.

The English version of The Head is considered to be a public domain title and has been available from Alpha Video, Sinister Cinema and other PD sources. This version was modestly recut to create a new main title sequence and to remove certain erotic elements unwelcome to its target audience in 1961. Happily, a hybrid edition – which, in a fitting fate, grafts the English dub onto the original uncut version from Germany – was recently made available for viewing on YouTube.

In the immediate wake of The Head, producer Wolf C. Hartwig pushed another erotic horror film into production, Ein Töter hing in Netz (“A Corpse Hangs in the Web,” 1960). Scripted and directed by Fritz Böttger, the film (Böttger’s last as a director) was first released in America as It’s Hot In Paradise (1962), sold as a girlie picture with absolutely no indication of its horror content. It was later reissued in 1965 as Horrors of Spider Island (1965). Under any of its titles, the film is notably lacking all of the artistic and aesthetic pedigree that made its predecessor so special and, indeed, influential.

Sixty years further on, The Head warrants fuller recognition as a spearhead of that magic moment on the threshold of the 1960s when so-called “art cinema” began to be fused with so-called “trash cinema,” leading to a broader, wilder, more adult fantastique.  

by Tim Lucas

[1] Victor Trivas’ Niemandsland may be viewed online at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-4XhNMWoyw

[2] Rapid-Film’s later successes would include the German film that was subsequently converted into Francis Ford Coppola’s directorial debut (The Bellboy and the Playgirls, 1962), Ernst Hofbauer’s Schoolgirl Report film series (1970-80), and Sam Peckinpah’s Cross of Iron (1977).

[3] You can see Lasry-Baschet perform and be interviewed in a French newsreel from January 1961 on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=awaFd6gArLg&t=46s.

[4] Well, as “recent” as 1940, when footage of a supposedly successful Soviet resuscitation of a dog’s severed head was included in the grisly 20m documentary Experiments In the Revival of Organisms. The operation was performed (and repeated) by Doctors Sergei Brukhonenko and Boris Levinskovsky, making use of their “autojektor,” an artificial heart/lung machine not unlike the contraption seen in The Head. A close look at Experiments reveals that it really shows nothing that could not have been faked through means of special effects. (When George Bernard Shaw learned of the Soviet experiment, he’s said to have remarked, “"I am tempted to have my own head cut off so that I can continue to dictate plays and books without being bothered by illness, without having to dress and undress, without having to eat, without having anything else to do other than to produce masterpieces of dramatic art and literature.") Experiments In The Revival of Organisms has been uploaded to YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ap1co5ZZHYE.

[5] Rigby, Jonathan. Euro Horror: Classics of Continental Horror Cinema (London: Signum Books, 2017), p. 79.

[6] Joseph Green also worked in motion picture distribution and later formed Joseph Green Pictures, which specialized in spicy imported pictures, some from Germany. It’s possible that he saw the Trivas picture when it was still seeking distribution in the States. When Ostalgica Film released The Head on DVD in Germany under its Belgian reissue title Des Satans nackte Sklavin (“The Devil’s Naked Slave”), the disc included The Brain That Wouldn’t Die as a bonus co-feature.

[7] A fine quality homemade experiment, it runs 91 minutes 47 seconds and can be found at: The Head (Die Nackte und der Satan) 1959 Sci-Fi / Horror HQ version!.

[ficclique]

In addition to our own personal top fics (which you can view here), we asked you all to send us your choices for your fics of the decade and why you loved them. We received so many wonderful submissions, and now want to share them with everybody! In an effort to not make this post too long we’ve edited down the comments that people left us, but everyone had some really lovely things to say, so if anything catches your eye here we really encourage you to take a look at the complete list of comments here.

Without further ado, please enjoy the top fics of the decade as chosen by you, our listeners: 

Submitted by: Cricket

Fic 1: pilgrimage by wolfsupremacist

Info: EXO RPF, Baekhyun/Sehun

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18411497/chapters/43607615

Cricket’s comment: I can't get over all the building in this fic -- the world building, the character building, the relationship building. The main character’s development was like watching a child grow: it's hard to see it happening, but once you reflect on who he became versus who he was, it's so obvious how he changed.

Fic 2: the eye of providence by minhyukwithagun

Info: NCT RPF, Jaehyun/Taeyong

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14981330

Cricket’s comment: I have genuinely never laughed so hard while reading a fic.There were so many little details that the author added that were unnecessary to the overall plot but just made the characters so much more real. You get to learn so much about everyone in such a (relatively) short amount of time.

Fic 3: so collect your scars and wear them well by addandsubtract

Info: Hockey RPF, Connor McDavid/Dylan Strome

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5075128

Cricket’s comment: I feel like this fic changed me as a writer. It touches on such a relatable subject: that feeling of being completely unsure of what you should do with your life when Plan A doesn't work out, and discovering who you are without the thing that you previously thought defined you.

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Submitted by: Claire

Fic 1: The Baffled King and The Idiot Hero by Ellarose C

Info: Hetalia, ?

Link: https://m.fanfiction.net/s/5819880/1/

Claire’s comment: This fic launched 3 of my high school friendships that continue to this day. It's cute and Hallmark levels of unrealistic, and I LOVE it. The overwhelming nostalgia and gratefulness I feel towards this fic (and all of Carrie's work, honestly) still blows me away.

Fic 2: Embers by Vathara

Info: Avatar: The Last Airbender, gen

Link: https://m.fanfiction.net/s/5398503/1/

Claire’s comment: The best, wildest, most comprehensively worldbuilt ATLA fic I have ever read. Tea, dragons, realistic motivations, that ending... perfect. *chef kiss*

Fic 3: Of A Linear Circle (series) by flamethrower

Info: HP, various

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/755028

Claire’s comment: I linked the whole series because I simply cannot pick a favorite installment. OaLC focuses on fixing the glaring plot holes in the Wizarding education system, accurately depicting the Founders' Era thanks to copious research, and showing that no one is truly irredeemable (except Voldemort himself, who more than earns it).

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Submitted by: Threepwillow

Fic 1: All the Other Ghosts by rainjoys

Info: Glee, Kurt/Blaine

Link: https://rainjoyswriting.livejournal.com/146587.html

Threepwillow’s comment: All The Other Ghosts and its direct sequel, Grey, are some of the most incredibly original and simultaneously incredibly transformative works of fanfiction I have ever read. The way they masterfully twist elements of canon to fit into the lore of their AU is second only to the profound, revelatory character studies that they've executed. This shit is extraordinary.

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Submitted by: Segs

Fic 1: Hemostuck (series) by roachpatrol and urbanAnchorite

Info: Homestuck, various

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/8470

Seg’s comment: THE WORLDBUILDING. THE ARTWORK. THE NARRATIVE VOICE(S). THE INCREDIBLE GRASP ON CHARACTERIZATION. DID I MENTION THE WORLDBUILDING.

Fic 2: transistor by fishcola

Info: Polygon RPF, Brian/Pat

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18760093/chapters/44503969

Seg’s comment: Rips my heart to shreds piece-by-piece and then gently puts it back together in the end. It's another put-these-characters-in-a-darker-setting sort of thing. It is brilliant and beautiful and I love it dearly.

Fic 3: any sign of spring by bluecarrot

Info: Hamilton, Hamilton/Burr

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7523227/chapters/17100376

Seg’s comment: This fic is so dang atmospheric. It feels very physical -- the temperature, the environment, the drawing. It's bittersweet, but ends on the sweet, and I think the sweetness is all the more emphasized for it. Rereading it feels like coming back to a familiar place.

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Submitted by: Ang

Fic 1: Anarchy In The U.K. by Yahtzee

Info: X-Men First Class, Erik/Charles

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/673552/chapters/1232410

Ang’s comment: the writing of this one made it so easy to get completely lost in the au while still knowing the characters so well from the source material! super engaging, totally consumed my life for a week

Fic 2: blackjacks running down by back by dangerbears

Info: 1D, Harry/Louis

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/499474

Ang’s comment: this is like my comfort blanket fic! every time i reread it (even though i'm not in that fandom anymore), it's still just as funny and cute as it was the very first time i read it - again the au is so easily believable because the characterizations are so familiar.

Fic 3: this city bleeds its aching heart by renne

Info: MCU, Steve/Bucky

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/835829

Ang’s comment: unsurprisingly, it's another au that is so easy to fall into! this is another one that i've been consistently rereading since i first read it (in 2015, for this one) because it's my absolute favorite trope with a ship that i'm still very much into!

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Submitted by: Scout

Fic 1: she called it a void by vans88

Info: Star Wars, Finn/Poe/Rey

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5493500

Scout’s comment: Short and powerful and essential to anyone's viewing of the new Star Wars trilogy. Seriously one of the most careful, tender, and graceful queer addendums to a piece of pop culture this decade.

Fic 2: The Love Song of The North American Douchebag by gyzym

Info: Star Trek RPF, Chris/Zach

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/852395

Scout’s comment: JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, I HOPE I CAN SWEAR. I'm not even in this fandom. The world building is just THAT good. It's one of my highlights *because* of its power to draw me in as a standalone. So much fucking talent in the transformative work community. The banter, characterization, sardonic-ness of this – international impact baby!

Fic 3: all this learning here is by you by decinq, nighimpossible

Info: Hockey RPF, Jamie Benn/Tyler Seguin

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5105441

Scout’s comment: Revolutionized – and I would argue – drove the GROWTH AND SURVIVAL of hockey fandom. One of the best known works in the fandom, and a masterclass in how to build a set of characters that you're genuinely envious you don't get to see or know. Two incredible authors and a plethora of personality. Fun and sexy and lighthearted but poignant. Chef kiss.

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Submitted by: Em

Fic 1: the subtle science and exact art of chess-boxing, by fishcola

Info: Polygon RPF, Brian/Pat

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18931885/chapters/44945971

Em’s comment: fishcola is definitely one of the top reasons i actually started reading/writing polygon rpf. this fic!!!!! i sWEAR its so /so/ good oh my GOSH. yes, full disclosure im fish's beta for chessboxing but also i am enthusiastic simply because it is a very beautiful and powerful narrative on trauma, healing, and how the people we choose to interact with affect our emotions.

Fic 2: the old men call me by my mother’s name by theviolonist

Info: HP, Hermione/Ron

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1044467

Em’s comment: as a certified Trans(TM) im always pursuing and consuming trans content. the old men call me by my mother's name is an hp fic that i still cherish years after first reading it. trans!ron is a concept not often explored in hp fic, much less trans /girl/ ron. massive gender feels, folks.

Fic 3: national hot dad alliance is now calling… by dicaeopolis, owlinaminor

Info: Haikyuu! , various

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5663683/chapters/13045579

Em’s comment: national hot dad alliance really is the perfect evolution of a groupchat fic. i laughed, i cried, i fell in love with the characters all over again as these captains from different teams bond over graduating. and also being Dads(TM). in some cases-- pining over their fellow volleyball players-- plus star wars, the x-files, and memes. overall its is very good and i will stan it eternally

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Submitted by: Staci

Fic 1: No Homo, by orphan account

Info: Teen Wolf, Stiles/Derek

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1148039/chapters/2326073

Staci’s comment: Literally my favorite AU ever written. The characterization is SO on point and it truly is a super fun read. It’s also a super long which helps with painting such a detailed picture of these two dummies who are-totally-just-bros-with-added-benefits. I’d recommend this to anyone, even if they’re unaware of Teen Wolf, but if you’re a Teen Wolf fan then it’s even better.

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Submitted by: Nadine

Fic 1: Too Long, Too Close (series) by callmejude

Info: MCU RPF, Chris/Sebastian

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/253528

Nadine’s comment: kink exploration and bdsm done well.... and so thoroughly. but there's more! theres FEELINGSSSSSS uhhhhhhh it made me CRY it's so good.

Fic 2: On a Clear Day by Saras_Girl

Info: HP, Harry/Draco

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/879841

Nadine’s comment: I could've put a few other fics by this author because they write the best drarry but uhhhhh. I had to choose and it was either gonna be TURN or this one. Idk why but this one makes me so unbelievably emotional bc it was Harry who's Going Through Stuff and I just loved it a lot.

Fic 3: around the world in eighty thousand days, by fallfreely

Info: 1D, Liam/Harry

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/856935

Nadine’s comment: It was hard to pick a 1D fave but I think that this fic always had a v special place in my heart & I can't even explain why. I love the dynamic of this pairing (even though it's not even my OTP, wtf. I'm a Gryles and Narry truther... *eye emoji*) and the whole FEEL of this fic and it's slow burn tour fic, soo.

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Submitted by: Frecklebomb

Fic 1: Shalbatana

Info: Mars Trilogy, Gen

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6629

Frecklebomb’s comment: A beautifully-written gen fic (with an incredibly gorgeous podfic by Luzula) in the near-future-scifi Mars Trilogy fandom but very easy to enjoy without canon knowledge. I revisit this story over and over and always marvel at the presence of the landscape and alien planet in it, the way it feels like a character. Bonus Mars rover feelings (I cry every time about the robot).

Fic 2: Through a Glass Darkly, by susiecarter

Info: DCU, Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19395793/chapters/46155535

Frecklebomb’s comment: Sprawling post-apocalyptic epic, so rich and cinematic that it feels like a movie I somehow read. The worldbuilding and tension of the focal ship are what sucked me into this fic, but what stayed with me was the richness of the ensemble characters. I find myself just thinking about their character arcs, and imagining what they'd be doing post-story. I want fic of this fic.

Fic 3: Too Far Down The Road, by SoniaVice

Info: Hockey, OMC/OMC

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13208136/chapters/30212907

Frecklebomb’s comment: An amnesia trope origfic set in handwavey hockey fandom (author said they 'set it free' to be OMC/OMC when the dynamic needed to be different from the RPF ship it started out as). It gives me so many good feelings about family (of choice and otherwise) and ageing and self-acceptance and sexuality, and the way you can choose to be changed by the people you spend your life with.

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Submitted by: Em (Springsteen)

Fic 1: Pull Me Under, by zarah5

Info: 1D, Harry/Louis

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/870766

Em’s comment: first of all zarah5 is a fandom legend. second, this is like the pinnacle of fake relationship fics to me it's 140k and so much of it is pining and like truly, who among us doesn't love harry styles with their whole heart. I can't think about the '10s without thinking about one direction and when this fic came out I remember a lot of people fully losing their minds.

Fic 2: Door to Door, by Ferritin4

Info: Hockey RPF, Jamie Benn/Tyler Seguin

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3478298

Em’s comment: this is one of the first hockey fics I ever read and I still come back to it so often. The relationship builds so well, Tyler's dogs are in it, it's just so sweet, and plus it's a very readable 10k.

Fic 3: Darling It Is No Joke, by thehoyden

Info: Teen Wolf, Stiles/Derek

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/399194

Em’s comment: look I can't be retrospective about this decade and /not/ include a sterek fic. the first half of this decade for me was all 1d and teen wolf and full disclosure, it's been a while since I've reread this fic, but I remember the banter being really stellar and thehoyden is another one of those authors who I just. Adore.

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Submitted by: Dan

Fic 1: The Heart Rate of a Mouse (series) by Anna (arctic_grey)

Info: Bandom, Ryan Ross/Brendan Urie

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/712953

Dan’s comment: This fic is incredibly iconic. It’s definitely one of my favorites of all time—the way the story is told is just heart wrenching, and it manages to always keep you on edge about what’s going to happen. The portrayal of self discovery, love, jealousy, down to the settings and all the social issues of the time period (the 70s), is amazingly done.

Fic 2: The Cat’s Miaow by Pennyplainknits

Info: Bandom, Patrick Stump/Pete Wentz

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/930529

Dan’s comment: This fic is unlike anything else I’ve read. First off, I LOVE historical AUs, and the noir setting is everything I could have wanted and more. The author has managed to create such a delicate and profound romance along with an interesting plot that borders on thriller without ever going too far with either side of the story.

Fic 3: Get Real Get Right (Fuckin Right) by sophiahelix

Info: Riveyonce Cuoknowles, Sufjan Stevens/Drake

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9029020

Dan’s comment: Honestly? This is just art.

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Submitted by: Carina

Fic 1: Bite Marks by provocative_envy

Info: HP, Hermione/Draco

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3580953/chapters/7894464

Carina’s comment: i've shied away from aus in harry potter fic for years, especially american college aus but this fic in my opinion kept the best of the characters and modernized them in a way that felt true to who they are.

Fic 2: old jokes from a wild youth, by knightspur

Info: SEVENTEEN RPF, Mingyu/Minghao

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18127073

Carina’s comment: mingyu and minghao are in love, but they're not soulmates. i love the dynamics and the quiet intimacy between them, and also how they work through wanting to be together despite them not having a bond in the way soulmates have.

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Submitted by: Katy

Fic 1: The River and The Deep Green Bend by liquidmeasure

Info: 1D, Harry/Niall

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6005275

Katy’s comment: this fic honestly surpasses the genre of fic. it is a genre all its own. it is the pinnacle in catharsis and heartbreak and having a satisfying end that is completely unsatisfying as well. I will never recover from this fic.

Fic 2: Out of the Dead Land by Orphan Account

Info: MCU, Steve/Bucky

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1871955

Katy’s comment: there is a specific phrase in this fic that has and will continue to stay with me. I will never hear the phrase "up or down" without feeling immense heartbreak. an amazing blend of source material to create something altogether its own - but could still take place in either canon

Fic 3: Up We Go by Oh_Hey_Tae

Info: BTS, Taehyung/Jimin

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12297168

Katy’s comment: this fic is one that I found more recently, but I can already tell that it is one that is going to stick with me for a long long time. it is another fic that I feel transcends the genre of fic entirely

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Submitted by: Corie

Fic 1: Build A Temple In Me by Authoress

Info: Haikyuu!, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3716002

Corie’s comment: A wonderful and moving fanfic with fantasy akin to studio ghibli. If I have to recommend Haikyuu fanfiction this is it.

Fic 2: Close to the Chest by darkmagicalgirl

Info: Haikyuu!, Kyoutani Kentarou/Yahaba Shigeru

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3898771/chapters/8721568

Corie’s comment: Another haikyuu!! Fic! I remember reccing this to my friend and she said it was more akin to a novel then any fanfiction she has read. High praise IMO

Fic 3: Fake Sugar by minverse

Info: BTS, Jungkook/Seokjin

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14707098/chapters/33987549

Corie’s comment: Oh sweet god I love minverse’s writing and this fic has it all. Romance, smut, and a nice dollop of humor.

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Submitted by: Abby

Fic 1: an awful curse by blinkiesays

Info: Teen Wolf, Stiles/Derek

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/604092

Abby’s comment: Non-linear timeline, au within the story, "every me loves every you," domesticity but also heavy angst, and it's so beautifully written it makes me want to cry reading it. also it harkens back to the time of when the show was still good.

Fic 2: dance this silence down (the emergency room remix) by Fahye

Info: Les Miserables, Enjorlas/Grantaire

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/994140/chapters/1966093

Abby’s comment: It's such a great, understandable ensemble fic for a dense canon, with such a great modern day au setting, but the whole time it really deals with the main character's depression and alcoholism and the complete overwhelming love that he has for the guy he's shipped with. it's so gritty and real but the ending brings so much hope I love it.

Fic 3: comment fic by anon

Info: iCarly, Sam/Spencer

Link: https://author-abz.livejournal.com/35003.html

Abby’s comment: this is an ANONYMOUS comment fic someone wrote me when I was feeling down on LJ and it's so short but so complete, and it says everything it needs to about it being okay to mess up and just be messed up together. also: "glitter emergency" (technically a cheat, it's from 2008; I forgot it was so old)

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Submitted by: Kassie

Fic 1: An Exercise in ‘Worthless’ by beastofthesky

Info: Supernatural, Dean/Castiel

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/535676

Kassie’s comment: an exercise in worthless introduced me (indirectly) to my favorite musician and (directly) to the subject i almost minored in during undergrad, so honestly i would put it as a fic of the decade even if it wasn’t one of the best fics i read in the supernatural fandom.

Fic 2: Superstition (series) by Superstition_hockey

Info: Hockey, OMC/OMC

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/413233

Kassie’s comment: superstition started out as a tropey, fun, lighthearted short fic, and grew into a big thing that deals with a lot of serious topics incredibly well while also being still very funny and emotional and having honestly some of my favorite fictional characters i’ve read in years

Fic 3: United States v. Barnes

Info: MCU, Steve/Bucky

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2304905/chapters/5071058

Kassie’s comment: united states v barnes is the multimedia fic of my DREAMS. this is what i want to show people to explain why i love fanfic so much. it does so much with the medium its working in and the presentation of the fic, and fits that perfect fanfic niche of exploring the kind of background that will never appear in canon but that everyone wonders about.

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Submitted by: Kat

Fic 1: I’ve felt and I’ve Been by autotunedd

Info: Big Bang RPF, Seunghyun/Jiyong

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15349758/chapters/35616516

Kat’s comment: Possibly the fic that marked my entire decade. The characters are so human and real, the plot is heavy and winding and the twists sometimes seem life ending. It is heavy, it is painful, it is sad, it is angsty, it is maybe even a smidge too real and dangerous at times, but it makes a solid read, a long, relatable novel about real people with real fears and problems.

Fic 2: Eversion by thespectaclesofthor

Info: Detroit: Become Human, Hank Anderson/Connor

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15754140/chapters/36638253

Kat’s comment: Beautiful, long, detailed, well written, hard hitting, serious, sweet, painful, kinky, all in one! The characters have so much depth, their issues and inner workings seem so real and the plot is so carefully crafted and detailed, every chapter keeps you at the edge of your seat. All in all, beautifully crafted, passionate, hard hitting piece that I couldn't help falling in love with.

Fic 3: Eggshell Landscapes and the Burden of Love by NoContractTermination

Info: NCT RPF, Taeil/Johnny

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10446438

Kat’s comment: Short, sweet, angsty and charming! I loved the intimate look into their relationship this fic brings, the trials and tribulations and the struggle to communicate. It all seemed so raw and real and coupled with the author's beautiful writing, it all came together in a perfect read, with bounds of re-read potential.

━

Submitted by: Wen

Fic 1: the bellwether by highoctane

Info: Polygon RPF, Brian/Pat

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18634426

Wen’s comment: Feelings!!! It's really refreshing to read a character who, as an established adult, is reconfiguring an understanding of himself without it being either a whole crisis or a sudden seamless lightbulb moment. It's very fair to both characters' emotions, letting them both react in a way that feels wonderfully human and real rather than idealistic.

Fic 2: Five Times the Potion Seller Refused to Sell a Potion (and One Time He Didn’t) by misura

Info: Potion Seller (Justin Kuritzkes Short Film), Knight/Potion Seller

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5441447

Wen’s comment: It's based on a 3 minute meme video and if it was just a tweet or post with the title alone it would be a great joke but... someone went and wrote the dang thing! And it could have been ridiculous crackfic, and while it certainly toes that line it's also got a really fun flow of dialogue that leaves a lot to the imagination without it getting confusing.

Fic 3: I Am The Horrible Goose That Lives In The Town by Daniel Lavery

Info: The Untitled Goose Game, gen

Link: https://www.shatnerchatner.com/p/i-am-the-horrible-goose-that-lives

Wen’s comment: the writing is tremendous and sits beautifully in that razor's edge space where english is used just strangely enough to create a fantastic character voice without going too far and falling into some kind of awkward english language uncanny valley. it's so hard to pick out the best line because every line is the best line. "Here I am coming, with the good news of me, and you hate it. You can think only of the bell and how much I have it, and you are never the goose."

━

Submitted by: Mage

Fic 1: Fog, Sheets and Thunder by theopteryx

Info: My Chemical Romance RPF, Frank/Gerard

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/351396

Mage’s comment: i have literally thought about this fic at least once a week since i read it in 2012. do not ask me why. i have no answers.

Fic 2: Flowers in Bones by fringecity (indiachick)

Info: BTS, Taehyung/Yoongi

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16256390

Mage’s comment: sometimes i just wanna be a careful selection of small animal bones that yoongi gently unearths and meticulously crafts into an altar of pressed flowers and ink

Fic 3: It Happened Quiet by hobimo

Info: BTS, Taehyung/Yoongi

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15070646/chapters/34939646

Mage’s comment: haunted woods :) cryptids :) that deeply unsettling feeling that there are greater, mysterious forces at work and there's nothing you can do about it :)

━

Submitted by: BirdieLeonie

Fic 1: Reprise (series) by Elfpen

Info: Star Wars, various (Obi-Wan centric)

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/454408

BirdieLeonie’s comment: I spent about seven months of my life reading nothing but Star Wars time-travel fix-it fics. (I am not exaggerating; there are enough of them to last that long or longer.) This is my favorite.

Fic 2: Friday Night Arrives Without a Suitcase by marycontraire

Info: Hockey RPF, Danny Briere/Claude Giroux

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/534247

BirdieLeonie’s comment: This is a fic I have kept coming back to again and again in the years since I first read it. It's domestic and sweet and still adult. It's like curtainfic, inverted; the leads live together and parent their kids and go grocery shopping before they have a romantic or sexual relationship.

Fic 3: The Hero’s Journey; or: What Jasper Sitwell Did Last Summer (podfic), by artzbots, blackglass, daroos, girlwithabubblegun, kalakirya, Opalsong, reena_jenkins, RsCreighton, sabinelagrande

Info: MCU & Welcome to Night Vale, Jemma Simmons/Jasper Sitwell

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6462223

BirdieLeonie’s comment: I love podfic, I love crossovers, and I love this fic. Again, I picked this because of all the thousands of MCU fics I've read, this is the one I find myself coming back to repeatedly. This crossover is creative, fun, and plays with one of my favorite tropes: what was happening to a minor character in the background of the story we saw?

[sketzocase]

Okay y’all- brace yourselves. It’s a 2 AM random fandom question time!

You ever just had a thought and can’t explain it?

Like geeky/fandom wise?

Mine currently? (and spoiler alert- it’s ALOT)

-I would like to see how Uruk kias were made up close. I would also like to know how Saurmon got his fucking hair that straight. Like bruh- that’s Beyoncé level flawless.

-I know the Ents ‘lost’ their females or whatever, but I am obsessed with how exactly an Ent would go about mating. Also would like to point out that if a lady ent were to turn on her guy ent when they arise in the morning- she would technically be giving him morning wood.

-If Harry Potter can fix shit- why doesn’t he fix his glasses?

-Why the fuck would the ‘chosen one’ only use like... five spells? Come on Harry- get your shit together.

-I don’t think Dementors are inherently evil. I think they’ve been used that way but by being put to use via wizards- they really don’t get to decide- right? Aren’t they technically magical creatures? In which case, can we really not make a case that in using them in Azkaban, the wizards essentially made a kind of house-elf situation?

-Why the hell didn’t Bucky tell any of his friends what he’d done to them in his past upon meeting them? If I had worked with an asshole who killed a loved one and he knew it and never said anything to me fifty-something years late? Fuck yea- I’m pissed.

-Why the fuck does Azazel have a shit ton of kids but somehow only four survived? Like okay- in The Draco we could say that Nils is probably the youngest. And we can assume that Kiwi Black appears to be older than Kurt- who I guess if I was pressed we would say would be late 20’s early 30’s? This means there is a great few years where Azazel is either actively impregnating one woman after or another- or a time when he is a fuck hiatus only to come out a few years later and start actively impregnating women.

-OH- and Impregnating women can be hard! It can take YEARS! Does he just have a magic dick? Like... does something in his powers just make him a sex wizard? Can he get STDS? Can he heal himself if he does? How can he be sure that every single one of his offspring will be mutants? He had so many kids to open a portal- but the had to have some sort of teleporty power. How can he just see a kid pop out and be like ‘yup. It’s a mutant’.

-Why do all of Logan’s kid’s come out looking better than him?

-How does Daken have a tattoo when in ultimate x-men Logan gets tattoos of girlfriends to impress them, knowing it will heal.

-Daken’s tattoo pattern doesn’t really change much. Did he design it himself? When he loses that arm- b/c it’s ALWAYS that arm- does he get like super annoyed because he’s going to have retat himself up?

-How do Daken and Laura not have Logan’s ‘hairy motherfucker’ genes when both Raze and Jimmy Hudson seem to have got it??

-Does Laura have to double shave legs/armpits? Would she even think too?

-Is childbirth easier on Mystique because she can shape her body far more easily than a human? Don’t pregnant women’s like hips or something move or whatever? Can’t Mystique make it easier on herself?

-Are Johnny Storm’s bodily fluids hotter than most? If so, can he burn a partner by coming in them? Does he have to have like special insurance for his person/partner’s/items?

-Can Reed Richards assume whatever size dick Sue wants/needs at the time?

-Professor X makes a future kid with Mystique, does that mean his junk still works?

-Why the everloving FUCK did Remus wait so long to kill Romulus? Or try? Like he’s her twin- right? Can’t a sibling usually tell how sucky or evil a sibling is going to be pretty early on? Like my sisters a little evil- I’ve known it since she was three. Was there not a moment in their childhood where Remus just went ‘wow my brother is really fucked up. I should do something about that before he hurts someone!”

-Why the FUCK did she get Logan to try to kill her brother? Like bitch- you let it get this bad. Go handle your own shit!

-Theoretically, If Rogue wears something from head to two only leaving her lower bits exposed and Gambit wears a condom- can they have sex?

-Does Scott see different shades of red through his visor or is it all the same color?

-Is Colossus’s dick able to go full metal as well as his skin? Like- come on, what’s he packing under those pants?

-How does Sabertooth do day to day things if he can’t retract his claws- ever? Like does all of his shit just get scratched all to hell?

-How do heightened senses peeps function in normal society with all the extra smells/sounds? Is their taste enhanced? Can they do things like listen to headphones safely?

-How the fuck does Scarlet Witch work? Just like in general- I have a lot of questions.

-Why doesn’t Bucky seem to be aging really?

-how old ARE the x-men?

-Am I to believe that Bobby Drake is older than Cannonball? Nah. I don’t buy it.

-What happened to the Guthrie brood? Wasn’t there like... three mutant siblings?

-How the fuck did that one pairing (speaking on Guthrie) have sex IN THE AIR?

-How is angel ever able to do like... anything? Is it a pain to take showers if he has to get his wings all wet (assuming their feathers).

-Movie part here- in Dark Phenoix why the fuck didn't anyone tell Kurt- ‘oh yea, by the way? That’s your mom. Annnnd she’s dead.’ He was made an orphan AGAIN. Furthermore, why didn’t any of the original x-men who were on the beach react when he picked up a fucking knife and used real similar moves to his daddy?

-why didn't they explore that relationship more?

-Does Iceman have a ice dick? Like- he’s been pretty naked before. Where is his dick? Where does it go? If it is there does it react to chilly temps like other dudes?

-Can venom technically contaminate his host's partners if he is somehow involved in sexual relations WITH his host at the time?

-Why do so many aliens talk English?

-How do the x-men understand Doop?

-How do some of them understand Lockheed?

-How many top brains will be introduced only to be topped by someone else?

-How smart is Reed Richards?

-How long can Norman Osborn be the goblin? Are there any other personalities that he’s formed over the years?

-Why the fuck don’t the x-men permanently partner up with Legion? Like ... get on that.

-Why the fuck don’t they just shut the entire hellfire club down? That NEVER ends well and it’s got a lot of the same members over and over again- shut it down, keep it down.

Annnnnd... yea. Those are all my questions/thoughts.

[kfs1001]

I was walking home today splashing through the puddles left over from the 20 odd centimeters of snow Mother Nature left us on Monday, thinking about D. Way back when, we have a young man, who may or may not understand Hollywood’s seedy underbelly, find himself getting a dream job. D joins Glee and is given a chance to become a permanent fixture. He renews his contract and the rest is history.

What comes next is a theory but I must state I believe D is gay. However, I thought I would bring this up.

What if D did not have understood his sexuality when he signed the deal. (Some people are later bloomers. I was not.) Maybe he thought he was straight or considered himself to be bisexual or even gay? Let’s say, the for purpose of this theory, he thought himself as bisexual and felt it best to play the straight man. Then he really gets to know C in ways he had never dreamed possible and – poof – he realizes, “Yes, I’m gay!” -- The scene in the Lima Bean after kissing Rachel may have been real to D – Anyhow, he finds himself trapped in PR nightmare when he has fallen hopelessly in love to his lucky co-star.

Now, D is forced into a masquerade and has to have a girlfriend because of a contract. The problem is now, the PR teams wants to save face by pushing the straight line in interviews and photos. Ladi ladi da.

What I am getting at is, people who yell a lot about something usually have something to hide.

Just think about it. There are many straight actors who have played gay rolls and have not suffered for it. Here are just a few.

 Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal (Brokeback Mountain)

Tom Hanks (Philadelphia)

Daniel Radcliffe (Kill Your Darlings)

Hugh Grant (Our Sons)

Eric McCormach (Will and Grace)

Gale Harold and Hal Sparks (Queer as Folks and the sex was pornography next to Blaine and Kurt)

Michael Ontkean (Making Love)

Mario Lopez (Breaking the Surface: The Greg Louganis Story)

Clive Owen (Bent)

Christian Campbell (Trick)

Christopher Meloni (Oz)

Matt Damon and Michael Douglas (Behind the Candelabra)

Paul Rudd (Object of My Affection)

 The point is, you do not see these gentlemen going out of their way to prove the straightness. Why should they? They are comfortable being straight and being actors. They were paid to play a role and they played it. 

Okay, for the detractors, yes, D is an actor and he was paid to play a role. The difference is, D’s team is yelling with megaphones from the bloody roof tops. How many times does the ‘straight’ word have to come up in one interview to make it believable? This smells like desperation and not much more.

D’s PR team reminds me of political handlers who are trying to spin a tale to defend their boss who just got caught with his pants down with some young man. All of sudden they pull the wife and kids out the front door to face the cameras to prove the man is straight even thought pictures are smeared over the internet. There are countless denials which only make it sound worse. Then, one day, after the wife has left and the kids are still trying to figure everything out, the politician admits to the dalliance.

Now, I might very well be wrong, but in my opinion, there is only one reason ‘straight’ comes up so often. D is not straight. They are far too obvious and that makes the whole charade unfathomable. If they wanted to make us believe D is straight, ramming it down our throats is not the way to do it.

It is not easy to come out of the closet, but many actors have.

Brandon Flynn

“We’ve been scared shitless our whole lives, thanks to all the stigmas that surround us,” the 24-year-old wrote in the post. “Equality takes courage, it worries me that too many people in this world lack the balls to stand up for what is right.” Since then, he's been romantically linked to singer-songwriter Sam Smith. 

Teddy Quinlivan

The model capped off a busy New York Fashion Week in September by coming out as transgender in a candid CNN interview.  Quinlivan, 23, began her transition at 16, but decided to open up about her gender identity publicly because of “the political climate in the world right now ― particularly in the United States.”  “If being transgender is something that gets attached to my name throughout my career, then it’s for a worthy cause. But I look forward to the day when it doesn’t matter,” she said. “The transgender community needs more visibility. And with more visibility will come more acceptance.”

Haaz Sleiman

In August, Sleiman opened up about his sexuality in an emotional video as part of a personal effort to combat violence against the LGBTQ community. The "Nurse Jackie" and "Killing Jesus" actor, 41, announced that he was “a gay, Muslim, Arab-American man” in the video, but didn't stop there. 

Thomas Dekker

The "Heroes" actor publicly opened up about his sexuality on Twitter in July, but suggested he was inspired to do so after a “prominent gay man” outed him.  The 32-year-old described himself as a “man who proudly loves other men” in a short essay he included with his tweet. He also revealed that he’d married his husband in April. 

Jordan Gavaris

The “Orphan Black” star came out as gay in a June interview with New York Magazine's Vulture blog.  The 27-year-old star, who plays the “exuberantly gay” Felix Dawkins, seemed a bit surprised to be questioned about his sexual orientation. “Nobody ever asks me,” he said. “I’ve never been asked.”

Dan Amboyer

The "Younger" actor married his boyfriend, Eric Berger, in October, and came out as gay in the process.  Amboyer, 32, had been in a relationship with Berger for 10 years, but had not spoken publicly about his sexuality before. He told People that he'd been “strongly advised” to “stay quiet” about his personal life as he established himself as an actor. 

Matt Bomer

"American Horror Story" actor and marble-carved-cheekbones owner Bomer acknowledged his partner, publicist Simon Halls, and their three kids in an emotional humanitarian award speech in 2012.

Colton Haynes 

Beloved for both his physique and silly social media persona, the "Arrow" star hinted slyly he was not straight before formally coming out in 2016

Wentworth Miller 

This actor and screenwriter was the portrait of brute masculinity in the 2005 Fox series "Prison Break," which made his heartfelt coming out in 2013 -- and subsequent admission to body image and depression struggles -- resonate all the more with fans.  

 The closet door is open. People are stepping out and thriving. In this day and age there is no need to stay in the dark.

[justdealingwithsomeissues]

how does Kurt know his name is Wagner if he was adopted by the Szardos family?

Hah good question, and one I don't think has been explained, at least not where I'm up to, so all I can do is make presumptions. The only things that come to my mind are a) margeli knew his (assumed) dying mother, b) mystic mumbo jumbo, or the one I assume most c) the classic orphan trope of leaving a note with the baby.

[terresdebrume]

A Fic Rec Post

Okay so @julinettewrites asked me for a few fanfiction recs to get to know the fandom side of things. The requirements were: ‘good character development/introspection’ and ‘doesn’t require in-depth knowledge’ for fandoms she isn’t in. Of course I had to oblige.

Note that several of the fics on that list will be novel-length and beyond (wordcount included in the post) and several of them will deal with mature themes including but not limited to : mourning, death, rape-recovery, slavery, depression and medical torture. Please check the warnings on fics before reading :)

Legend for the brackets in front of titles:

M = Multichaptered fic

OS = One shot (one chapter) fic

S = Series of fic

C = Complete

I = In progress

The first fic on the list is my go-to rec for people discovering fanfiction, the rest doesn’t really have any order of preference, fandom or length. I stuck to fics hosted on AO3 for convenience’s sake, although a detour through my fic rec tag has a couple of little gems for your perusal.

I also included a couple of my own fics at the end, because I’m proud of them, and also because I can.

Enjoy !

I. Others’ fics

[M|C] Spin Control by trovia (Hunger Games, Finnick/Haymitch, 146k+ words, Rated M)

Summary : When Haymitch Abernathy’s alcoholism makes the prime time news, Finnick Odair is sent to live in District Twelve to pick up the pieces. But it’s hard to save a friend if you can barely stand looking yourself in the eye. And it might become impossible once that friend decides to move hell and high water to bring two of his tributes home at once, even if it should cost him his own life.

[S|I] Double Agent Vader by fialleril (Star Wars Original Trilogy, Gen, 78k+ so far)

Series summary : The one where Vader turned double agent for the Rebellion about three years after ROTS, and Leia is now his primary contact with the Rebellion.

[M|C] All The Angels and The Saints by speranza (MCU, Steve/Bucky, 48k+ words, Rated E)

Summary : In which Steve Rogers loses God and finds God and loses God, and also: Bucky.

[M|C] The Weight of the World by bellinaball (Glee, Gen, 12k+ words, Rated E)

Summary : Blaine's parents have given him a present. No matter what Kurt tells him, Blaine knows that his gift isn't a person.

[M|C] The Twin Thrones by Angelike (Merlin +Chronicles of Narnia, Merlin/Arthur, 40k words, Rated E)

Summary : While visiting a neighbouring kingdom for peace negotiations on behalf of King Uther, Arthur finds his attempts to seduce Merlin thwarted at every turn. Hiding in the wardrobe seemed like a good idea at the time.

[OS|C] Migratory Birds by nekare (Supernatural+X-Men, Gen, 11k+ words, Rated Teen & Up)

Summary : When the end comes, one brother is on one side, and the other on the opposite.

[S|C] The Guiding Winds by Fialleril (Star Wars OT & Prequel Trilogy, Gen, 5k+ words, Rated General Audiences)

Summary : The one where everything is the same, except Anakin survives ROTJ. Mostly a connected series of fics written in the same universe, centering on Luke and Anakin's relationship, and written by request - updated on a whim, but each fic is complete.

[OS] different from all other nights by metonymy (Xmen, Gen, 2k+ words, Rated GA)

Summary : "This year we are slaves; next year we will be free." Kitty and Erik host a seder for Passover at the Xavier School.

[OS] In Starships and Cups of Coffee by lorata (Star Wars OT, Gen, 1k+ words, Rated GA)

Summary : Han has no idea when he was born and it doesn’t really matter, it’s what he’s done with his life that’s important, not whatever day he got dropped into the world, red-faced and screaming and smeared with gunk. (Chewie would have his hide for that, but you know what pal, just because his kid had fur from the start didn’t make the whole process any less weird and slimy.)

Birthdays away from home can be complicated, whether you're an orphaned smuggler who doesn't remember, a princess whose home planet exploded, or a farm boy whose native world used an obscure calendar system.

[OS] A Nice Boy (The Family Matters Edition) by pocky_slash (X-Men : First Class, Charles/Erik, 20k+, Rated T&U)

Summary : Erik's not sure whether the problem is that he doesn't want his parents to meet Charles or that he doesn't want Charles to meet his parents. Either way, he never invites Charles to brunch. Why should he? It's not like they're dating.

[OS] Guardian Angels by WerewolvesAreReal (Digimon Adventure 01, Gen, 3k+ words, Rated Gen)

Summary : After the digital portal closes at the end of 01, TK looks for a new guardian angel. This search leads mostly to heartbreak.

Things to know : Takeru’s Digimon is Angel-shaped at his highest levels and died (twice, I think?) in the course of adventure 01. This fic takes place soon after that.

[M|C] The Crystal’s Song by sebastianL (Rogue One : A Star Wars Story, Chirrut/Baze, 160k+ words, Rated Explicit)

Summary : He is a Guardian. He believes in the Force. He is alone. Things change.

[OS] To Have Outlived The Night by stillane (Teen Wolf, Stiles/Derek, 23k+ words, Rated Mature)

Summary : Derek steps away from the window. “You helped me. They took that as a declaration.”

[OS] The Butterfingers G. D. I. Stark to Problem Solving by Epiphanyx7 (MCU, Gen, 18k+ words, Rated T&U)

Summary : Tony begins to notice that things are going missing from his workshop... and discovers that his bots have been hiding a very, very big secret from him. Or rather, a very, very small one.

In which Dummy is a kleptomaniac, You is painfully shy, Butterfingers is a programming genius, JARVIS is a sarcastic sonofabitch, Pepper takes care of Tony outside of the workshop, Bruce is Tony's boo, Thor is Tony's favourite, Clint is actually kind of smart, Steve has terrible timing, and problem-solving is never simple or easy.

Things to know : Dummy, Butterfingers and You are Tony Stark’s robots, the ones in his workshop, which we mostly see in Iron Man 1 & 2.

[OS] Je n’ai jamais promis un jardin de roses by chezvous(XMen : First Class, Gen, 5k+ words, Rated GA)

Summary : Charles had wanted a puppy for his tenth birthday.

(Or: Charles takes care of roses to make up for the fact that he was not loved quite enough during his childhood.)

II. Things of mine

[M|C] Once more, with kissing (Digimon, Taichi/Yamato, 41k words, Rated M)

Summary : In which Taichi has questionable ways to handle his issues, everyone tries to be nice, and Yamato yells at him a lot. Same old, same old, except for the part where there's kissing.

[OS] The Green Teacup (Saint Seiya, Gen, 7k+ words, Rated T&U)

Summary : Aphrodite, after a week-long absence, is finally back in the Sanctuary, which means Deathmask can just yell at him for leaving everyone behind and let things go back to normal.

Except for the part where they don’t.

Things to know : The characters mentioned are all super-powered child soldiers with Tragic Backstories (Deathmask’s takes the cake). In this fic, Aphrodite was sent 200years into the past and has just come back to the Sanctuary (where they all live) a little too late to prevent people from knowing he time-traveled at all.

[S|I] Teeth of the Desert (Star Wars OT, Gen, 9k+ words so far, Rated T&U)

Summary : In which the homestead doesn't burn but Luke is orphaned anyway.

In which he never leaves Tatooine, but learns to know Han and Leia anyway.

In which Luke never becomes a Jedi, but he saves a world anyway.

[OS] Killing zombies, and other fun activities (TWD+Battlestar Galactica, Gen, 4k words, Rated GA)

Summary : Daryl finds Kara in Griffin, roaring drunk and just about ready to die. Things, as it turn out, don’t quite go according to her plan, but she doesn’t really complain.

[S|C] The Boxes ‘Verse (The Hunger Games+Avatar : The last Airbender, Finnick/Haymitch, 7k+ words, Rated T)

Summary : "Remember that time we talked about little boxes? That was ages ago but try to remember it, if you can?" "I can, Mom. I remember it. What about it?" "Well, we're trying to see if it's possible to unpack them."

[anamatics]

Queerbaiting and You - An Analysis on an Evolution

Language is ever-changing. The continual development of nuance and specificity of terms is part of the fabric of linguistics. Terms change in meaning and this evolution is challenging. People cling to language; adjustments in terminology are challenging. We like words that are static because it is human nature to dislike uncertainty.

Queerbaiting one such word undergoing evolution. The introduction of layered variance into a once-simply defined practice has brought about confusion and infighting. The repercussions of this debate are felt both internally within the queer community and externally, in the larger narrative on queer representation in popular media. The shift in definition does little to help the cause it was created to serve; instead obscuring the definition to the point where the term is essentially meaningless.

Historically, queerbaiting has carried two meanings: the first is an act of aggressive heterosexuality to shut down queer subtext on screen while still teasing and catering to the queer audience in advertising, public relations, and fan engagement strategies; the second is an existing homoerotic tension between two characters played up on screen while met with derision by the professionals behind the scenes. The most serial offenders of this practice oftentimes included much needed representation. However, it was not the canonly queer characters that prompted the act of queerbaiting, but rather the subtextual relationship between purportedly straight, often more central characters to the narrative.

Before the release of season two of Rizzoli and Isles, Sasha Alexander and Angie Harmon did a photoshoot for the cover of TV Guide was set up to resemble a lesbian couple’s engagement photoshoot. The clear focus on the relationship between Jane and Maura as the core dynamic that made the show work, and the way in which the actresses posed in the photos is in direct opposition to the man-of-the-week C-plot tacked on to every moment of intimacy shared by Harmon and Alexander’s characters on screen.  The insertion of compulsory heterosexuality into moments where there is no need to remind the audience that these characters are ostensibly straight is the definition of queerbaiting. It perpetuates the idea that women cannot converse with each other without speaking of a man, and effectively quashes any doubts that the straight audience has about the subtext that existed between the two main characters.  This is in direct contradiction to the theme of the promotional materials, which sold an intimate, almost romantic, relationship between two women. These promotional materials were meant to draw the attention of queer women knowing full-well that the romantic intimacy of the photoshoot was just an act to attract queer viewers.

This act of queerbaiting and the innumerable others like it started a conversation; and further acts ignited a discussion that trickled out of Live Journal and other fandom spaces into the public eye.  Fandom creativity has always been somewhat of a taboo subject historically, the sort of thing that one did not discuss with members of the professional community. Actors, and then writers and showrunners, started to actively embrace the cultish fan culture that had developed around their shows.

This is not an entirely new phenomena, XenaCon has been around for year; Star Trek and Star Wars have always had a large following and active fanbase embraced by the professionals involved. But these relationships between professionals and fans were always considered somewhat fringe, the exceptions, rather than the rule of fan engagement. Science fiction and fantasy professionals have always embraced fan culture far more than the mainstream. It comes from a shared history and understanding; geeks and nerds have a strong sense of solidary that even professional success does little to change.

Even in these open spaces for dialogue, the queerness of the fandom was considered ineffable. With the exception of Xena, which was always a queer show censored by being ahead of its time, it has always been one of the unspoken rules of fan culture: you don’t talk about the gay. Despite the heavy subtext, the relationship between Seven of Nine and Captain Janeway of Star Trek: Voyager was a non-starter at conventions; Kirk and Spock, the original slash pairing for innumerable fans, was not discussed publically. The self-censorship was a practice to protect the small bones thrown to the community by writers who were undoubtedly aware of their queer fanbase but were uninterested in providing any sort of meaningful representation to them.

And then a watershed moment occurred in the Supernatural fandom: Misha Collins, one half of one of the most notoriously queerbaited dynamics in modern memory, started actively embracing the queer fandom and shipping community. All of sudden, it wasn’t as unacceptable to share fan works with actors and writers. It wasn’t as unacceptable to want to see the ideas of those works – the representation of queer storylines as equal to those of their straight counterparts – realized on screen.

Queer representation in the current age of “peak TV” has diversified exponentially from the humble beginnings of the subtext-laden yet never-canon roots of the pre-aught era. The conversations started on message boards and social media reached the ears of Hollywood executives. Queer characters started to appear more frequently, and with them came queer relationships. The practice of queerbaiting persists on some shows: Supernatural, a show that has come to define the practice, continues on this path with Dean and Castiel’s characters despite the presence of canon queer characters in the story; Rizzoli and Isles ended without ever having realized the potential relationship between Jane and Maura[1]; and Once Upon a Time continues to demonstrate the central, co-parenting relationship of Regina and Emma as strictly platonic through pairing the women off with abusive men. Despite the continued practice of queerbaiting in some established shows, many others embraced queer representation and did it in such a way that the conversation had to shift.

With the canonization of relationships like Kurt and Blaine or Brittany and Santana from Glee, fans and creators alike started to have conversations about what it meant to show queer lives on television. Glee was unique in that it didn’t shy away from the ugliness of what it meant to be queer in high school. It had a large enough cast of queer characters that it could show multiple ways to be queer, and multiple queer experiences. While the practice was met with derision by the queer community at times due to the worry about depicting queer characters as constantly suffering for their queerness, Glee gave some of the best queer youth representation. It allowed young queer folks to see that they, too, could have a happy ending – as Glee remains one of the only shows on major network television to ever depict a lesbian wedding.

Before Glee, one of the best and most iconic early canon depictions of a relationship between two women on television ended in tragedy on Buffy: the Vampire Slayer[2]. Glee continued to fuel the narrative of queerness being equated with suffering despite the good work it did in terms of normalizing the experiences of queer folks. These two shows, along with Degrassi, South of Normal and Modern Family queer characters could be central characters and their relationships and lives could drive a narrative for a straight audience just as easily as a straight character’s could. As Glee ended, fans began to debate if it was enough to simply have the characters be queer, or if their queerness had to be realized through other means to be true “good” representation.

The debate narrowed to relationships; and the question was asked: was simply being there enough, or was there some sort of additional special treatment needed? The majority of fans eschew the debate all together, simply happy to see queer characters and relationships represented on television; however there is a vocal minority that does not think that just being depicted on television is good enough representation to be considered worthy of praise. They are an audience starved for any sort of positive representation, and the burden falls to television writers, often who are not members of the community they are trying to represent, to create narratives that do this ask justice.

Shows popular with large, young audiences seem to garner the most attention in these debates. The high school demographic seems to accurately predict where the discourse will next appear. Shows like The 100, Pretty Little Liars, Orphan Black, Shadowhunters and Supergirl recently have become ground zero for such conversations. Each of these shows depicts an on-screen relationship between two men or women, and each of these shows has been criticized for queerbaiting.

By the definition understood, none of these shows come close to queerbaiting. There are developed queer characters, actively embraced by the network, showrunners, critics and actors; the relationships are realized on screen and depicted with care; and there is narrative focus placed on the queer relationships. Unlike Will and Grace or South of Nowhere where queerness is measured in how little demonstrable queerness these ostensibly queer characters can show on screen while still remaining queer; these relationships are well developed and realized on screen in the only way an audience can be sure to understand them – through kissing and depictions of sex.  It is here the debate turns from a discussion of representation to the changing definition of queerbaiting as a practice.

Queerbaiting has come to mean “bad representation” and “teasing existing queer characters” on top of the continued application to the practice of actively attempting to attract a queer audience for the so-called “gay bump” and actively dismissing that same audience’s want for better representation. This is confusing; one practice is far more insidious than the other, yet the term is applied to both practices interchangeably.

There are cases where the on-screen story does not depict the practice of queerbaiting in a way that behind the scenes action certainly does. The best example of this in recent memory is The 100. The showrunners spent two seasons developing the lesbian character Lexa into a fully realized individual and building her relationship with Clarke, the bisexual lead. While the writers played into the bury your gays trope with Lexa’s death, there was nothing inherently queerbaiting about the way Clark and Lexa’s relationship developed on screen.  However, the way that the relationship was handed by the showrunners and writers off screen clearly exemplifies the practice.

Prior to the release of the 3rd season of The 100, showrunner Jason Rothenberg gave numerous interviews discussing the possibility of a relationship developing between Clarke and Lexa. The inclusion of a queer storyline and the bisexuality of the lead character won the show and Rothenberg himself a great deal of attention. While shooting the 3rd season, Rothenberg tweeted behind the scenes photographs from the season finale featuring Lexa and Clarke together; as well as open invitations to the fans to come and watch them shoot the finale. Writer Shawna Benson posted as an “insider” on a popular lesbian forum regularly during the build up to the 3rd season to control and monitor rumors. Following Alycia Debnam-Carey thanking Rothenberg for the opportunity and saying goodbye in a signed poster, Benson jumped at the opportunity to reassure the fans that this was nothing but a rumor and that she was there to “help them sleep better at night.”[3]  Both Benson and Rothenberg’s actions were a deliberate attempt to misconstrue the fact from The 100’s largely queer fanbase that Lexa dies at the midpoint of the season. While not a traditional understanding of the practice of queerbaiting, their actions clearly were meant to draw the attention of the queer fanbase and ensure that it was held for the entire season.

What happened on screen between Clarke and Lexa was not queerbaiting. A fully realized queer relationship between equals can never be queerbaiting as it is traditionally understood. Lexa’s death started to change the definition. Benson and Rothenberg’s actions compounding the issue as their professional actions were not the typical model of queerbaiting from industry professionals prior to this point. They deliberately sought out a vulnerable sub-group of their audience and through false reassurance, ensured their continued engagement despite Rothenberg’s creative choices regarding the queer representation in The 100. In doing this, they poisoned the well of goodwill they’d generated through a two season long development of a canon queer relationship. In the process, this act redefined the practice queerbaiting.

During the backlash over Lexa’s death, queerbaiting began to be used to describe any representation of queer characters that was not considered by the majority as “good.” Because The 100 (and numerous others[4]) played into the bury your gays[5] trope, it was considered “bad” queer representation. The term queerbaiting was applied to this “bad” representation label because of a clumsy understanding of what the term and practice actually entailed. Lexa was a well-developed queer character. There was nothing “bad” about the queerness she embodied on screen.[6] She represented a lesbian worth aspiring to be, a hero and a warrior, a leader of her people. There was nothing about her character or the development of the romance with Clarke that baited her queerness.

Media does not exist in a vacuum. To discuss queerbaiting, we must discuss the actions behind the scenes. These are as much a part of the practice as on-screen action. If Lexa had not died in the way she had, in a shot-for-shot parallel to fellow lesbian Tara’s death in Buffy: the Vampire Slayer, this analysis would be unnecessary. In playing into the bury your gays trope, while actively embracing the queer fandom, the staff of The 100 changed the definition of queerbaiting.  Queerbaiting is now defined as a practice of giving the queer fans the “good” representation they wanted, right up until the point where the representation became “bad.”

This shift in definition is troubling for older fans. The historical definition of queerbaiting describes a practice that harkens a time when there was no queer representation in popular media. To see the term created to describe this practice change in meaning is challenging for many. The the shift in definition ignores the pain of having your identity be the subject of derision and dismissal by critics, show staff, and actors alike. Older fans feel an emotional response to the practice of queerbaiting. The new definition is confusing to them; it doesn’t go far enough to describe how hurtful queerbaiting is to a vulnerable queer community as it is more often applied to established queer characters and relationships than subtextual relationships within the popular narrative.

Applying queerbaiting to existing queer characters implies that there is a standard of representation beyond merely existing on screen. This is a positive development in the term, and in the overall understanding of on screen queer representation. However, the root of the term in a practice that is both dismissive and exploitive of queer existence, cannot be divorced from the evolution. It implies a negativity in all forms of queer on screen representation and does not allow for variance within queer stories told on screen.

With the evolution, it is no longer enough for a character to be a hero, for her story to be told lovingly, and her romance beautiful. There is a thirst for something more, some perfection that cannot be defined as it is not understood by the community. The struggle for identity creeps into the conversation. The power of identity and what it means to be seen, to be acknowledged by the repressive majority, continues to press at the edges of discourse. Is it enough merely to be seen or is it the reflection of ourselves as shown back to us that forces us to bristle? Is our dissatisfaction from not so much being seen, but disliking how we are seen?

To the straight viewer, any representation is good representation. Their opinion is not nuanced by decades of self-censorship and societal representation. Their opinion does not reflect the pain of seeing yourself represented poorly on screen. There aren’t enough queer creatives in Hollywood to change this narrative overnight; and the pressure to do so only furthers to confound the issue.  When we see queer characters on screen and we do not like how they are portrayed, it is not queerbaiting. It is something else, a tremor in the collective consciousness of the queer community. A siren: something isn’t right. We don’t like it, we need to find words to call it wrong. Bad. Poor representation of us.

So we call it queerbaiting.

But that isn’t what it is, is it?

The original practice persists and continues to be far more hurtful to the community. We don’t have words to describe what it is that so bothers us about this new practice. It is confusing to those outside of the community and those who do not possess the historical knowledge of the practice. Attempting to parse out the meaning behind the emotion as well as to understand what the practice speaks to in a broader sense is next to impossible as things stand now. Simplicity begets understanding. The changing definition of what queerbaiting truly means becomes hard to pinpoint as it is applied to more and more situations where it does not quite fit. The language around the queer community’s ability to be seen is evolving rapidly, yanking along terms that aren’t quite ready to evolve. Until the original practice of queerbaiting is gone from popular media, the term cannot progress; and we shouldn’t force it to.

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End notes:

[1] However this lack of realization of the relationship can also be attributed to the extremely negative reaction of Angie Harmon, a conservative Christian, upon the discovery of the queer fanbase’s investment in the relationship between Jane and Maura. Sasha Alexander and the show runner (of the first few seasons), Janet Tamaro, both indicated that they would be interested in adding that queer element to Rizzoli and Isles.

[2] I cannot in good conscious reference Xena here. The relationship between Xena and Gabrielle was censored by the network and while it was undoubtedly canon, it persists in the popular narrative as a ‘subtext’ show.

[3] We Deserved Better. (2016, 9 3). We Deserved Better. Retrieved from wedeservedbetter: http://wedeservedbetter.com/post/141388433803/your-friendly-neighborhood-lurker. Accessed 4/25/17

[4] Bernard, Marie Lyn, writing as Riese. (2016, 3 11). All 175 Dead Lesbian and Bisexual Characters on TV, And How They Died. Retrieved from Autostraddle: https://www.autostraddle.com/all-65-dead-lesbian-and-bisexual-characters-on-tv-and-how-they-died-312315/. Accessed 4/25/2017.

[5] Anonymous, Multiple Contributors. (2010, 8 2 – earliest edit documented). Bury Your Gays. Retrieved from TV Tropes: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BuryYourGays. Accessed 4/25/2017.

[6] There are conversations that should be had around the appropriative nature of her character as a played by a white woman in brown face, who wears a bindi, but as I am white, I do not wish to speak over the queer POC who have already spoken out, at length, regarding the treatment of POC on The 100.

[attacuz-blog]

Atticus Grahm Fisher

˚✧* ––– character survey 

B A S I C S

full name: atticus grahm fisher Nickname: atti, fish, nerd Age: twenty-four Date of Birth: june 16th, 1994 Astrological Sign: gemini Ethnicity: caribbean Citizenship: american Orientation: bisexual Hometown: new york city, new york  Residence: las vegas Occupation: engineer for bellagio casino  Family Members: mr. anthony fisher (father), dr. katherine hansler (mother), & savannah fisher (little sister) 

P E R S O N A L I T Y

T R A I T S

Positive: humble, principled, empathetic, organized, determined  Negative: reticent, intellectual, lofty, distracted, sensitive 

F A V O R I T E S

Food: cinnamon sugar pretzel bites from auntie anne’s  Drink: whiskey sour Snack: gripz & fruit roll-ups (especially the ones that leave a temporary tattoo on your tongue lol atticus is a five year old)  Color: orange Season: fall Memory: running lemonade stands with his little sister during the summers agh && also graduating high school tbh  Band: alabama shakes & chance the rapper  Song: hunger of the pines by alt j Book: slaughterhouse five by kurt vonnegut  Movie: star wars probably lol  TV Show: the office 

BOLD WHAT APPLIES TO YOUR MUSE

PLACE IN SOCIETY

financial: wealthy / moderate / poor / in poverty.

medical: fit / moderate / sickly / disabled / disadvantaged.

class or caste: upper / middle / working / slave / unsure.

education: qualified / unqualified / studying.

criminal record: yes, for major crimes / yes, for minor crimes / no.

FAMILY

married - happily / married - unhappily / engaged or betrothed / partnered / single / divorced / separated.

has a child or children / has no children / wants children.  

close with sibling(s) / not close with sibling(s) / has no siblings / sibling(s) is deceased.

orphaned / adopted / disowned / raised by birth parent(s).

TRAITS + TENDENCIES

extroverted / introverted / in between.

disorganized / organized / in between.

close minded / open-minded  / in between.

calm / anxious / in between.

disagreeable / agreeable / in between.

cautious / reckless / in between.

patient / impatient / in between.

outspoken / reserved / in between.

leader / follower / in between.

empathetic / unemphatic / in between.

optimistic / pessimistic / in between.

traditional / modern / in between.

hard-working / lazy / in between.

cultured / un-cultured / in between.

loyal / disloyal / in between.

faithful / unfaithful / unknown.

BELIEFS:

monotheist / polytheist / atheist / agnostic.

belief in ghosts or spirits: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care.

belief in an afterlife: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care.

belief in reincarnation: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care.

belief in aliens: yes  / no / don’t know / don’t care.

religious: orthodox / liberal / in between / not religious.

philosophical: yes / no.

OPINIONS

pro-choice / anti-abortion /  doesn’t know or on the fence.

pro-drug legislation / anti-drug legislation / doesn’t know or on the fence.

left wing / right wing / middle / doesn’t know or on the fence.

SEXUALITY + ROMANTIC INCLINATION

heterosexual / homosexual / bisexual / asexual / pansexual.

sex repulsed / sex neutral / sex favourable.

romance repulsed / romance neutral / romance favourable.

sexually: adventurous / experienced / naive / inexperienced / curious.

potential sexual partners: male / female / agender / other / none / all.

potential romantic partners: male / female / agender / other / none / all.

ABILITIES

combat skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none.

literacy skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

artistic skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

technical skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none.

HABITS

drinking alcohol: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess.

smoking: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess.

other narcotics: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess.

medicinal drugs: never / sometimes  / frequently / to excess.

indulgent food: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess.

splurge spending: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess.

gambling: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess.

[klaineccfanficlibrary]

Old Library ask

@random-klainer0100 asked: here are some doctor!klaine fics for your anon: I Will Try to Fix You by OddFranz (on S&C), Inkwells by Nikola11 (on S&C), and It's No Accident by Thaliana (on AO3) [FYI: that last one is very kink-oriented, so beware before diving in!]

Thank you so much for the help!

Inkwells by Nikola11

Doctor!Kurt; Writer!Blaine.

When one of Blaine’s sons is discovered to have a rare autoimmune disorder, he’s referred to one Doctor Kurt Hummel for treatment.

Also, Orphan!Kurt, Hypergraphia!Blaine, and Hollywood!Cooper. Written in three parts.

~~~

It’s No Accident by Thaliana

In a D/s society where people are classified into different types of Dominants and submissives (Parent/little, Owner/pet, Standard service, etc), Kurt Hummel and his dad found out that he was to be a little. Kurt didn’t take kindly to being ‘encouraged’ to wear diapers, and his stomach didn’t take kindly to the change in diet. So when he needs a little help with his digestive system, Burt makes an appointment with Doctor Anderson.

~~~

I Will Try To Fix You by OddFranz

Kurt ends up in the hospital, but when he wakes up, his fiance’ is nowhere to be found. Luckily, he befriends the charming Dr. Anderson quickly.

[grlnxtdr30]

Somewhere, Ohio Timeline

I needed to take a breather from writing and update my Somewhere, Ohio timeline. For those of you still not familiar with this story, it takes place ten years after the last episode. It begins in June, 2030, and is currently up to April 2031.

For those of you who have been following from the beginning, here is the timeline. PLEASE NOTE, the chapters titled Snow Day and The Curious Thing About Cats both actually take place during the chapter titled Love is in The Air.

Somewhere, Ohio

Timeline

Sunday, June 9th, 2030

Kurt Hummel Wins three Tony Awards for his play, Somewhere, Ohio

Monday, June 10th, 2030

The Hummel Andersons officially move back to Lima, Ohio

Tuesday, June 11th, 2030

Kurt Hummel announces his intent to run for his father's House of Representative seat.

Friday, June 14th, 2030

“Lizzie” and “Bee” Hummel Anderson are enrolled for the fall semester at Neil Armstrong Elementary school. Blaine Anderson official joins the teaching staff at William McKinley High School, along with Nick Duvall and Jeff Sterling.

Thursday, July 4th, 2030

Elizabeth Rose Hummel Anderson turns ten years old.

Friday, July 5th, 2030

The Hummel Andersons adopt a Golden Retriever named Charlie and a Maine Coon Cat named Chester.

Wednesday, July 31st, 2030

Kurt's first Campaign ad airs.

Tuesday, August 6th, 2030

The Hummel Andersons meet the kids' new teachers, one of them is Marley Rose (Puckerman)

Wednesday, August 7th, 2030

Lizzie and Bee's first day of school, and Blaine's first day at McKinley. Johnny Grier and Danny Schuester both audition for spots in the school's four main choirs.

Thursday, August 8th, 2030

John Grier joins New Directions

Friday, August 9th, 2030

Danny Schuester joins New Directions

Saturday, August 10th, 2030

Marley Rose Puckerman becomes Bee's Piano teacher

Monday. August 12th, 2030

Blaine Anderson meets the rest of New Directions, including Beth Corcoran, Alexander “Xander” Karofsky, and Brenda Henderson. Kurt Hummel runs into Sebastian Smythe at the news station.

Monday, August 19th, 2030

Lizzie has an altercation with Kendra McMillan. Kurt Hummel decides he wants to expand their family.

Sunday, September 1st, 2030

The anniversary of Finn's death is remembered. Kurt and Blaine tell Burt and Carole about their plans to have another child

Wednesday, September 4th, 2030

Burt Edison Hummel Anderson turns seven years old. Kurt and Blaine tell their two children that they want to expand their family.

Saturday, September, 7th, 2030

Kurt has his first Debate with opponent George Mathers

Monday, September 9th, 2030

Lizzie announces she's earned her first solo, and will be accompanied on the piano by Bee at their concert. Brittany Pierce-Lopez agrees to become Kurt and Blaine's surrogate. Santana and Brittany announce they are attempting to adopt Ke'Andre, an orphan from Kenya.

Tuesday, September 10th, 2030

Lauren Zizes joins the staff of William McKinley high school as PE teacher, and coach of the Football and Soccer teams. Quinn's mother falls and is hospitalized. Kurt and Blaine take in Quinn's son, Noah for the night.

Wednesday, September 11th, 2030

It is revealed that Xander is unaware that his father, Dave Karofsky, is gay.

Friday, September 13th, 2030

Kurt and Blaine confront Dave about his possible feelings for Kurt and about the fact that Xander doesn't know he is gay. Kurt, Blaine, Santana, Brittany Quinn, Artie, Tina, Zizes and Dave convene the first Friends Friday dinner. Santana is convinced to take over the Cheer squad at McKinley, which has been renamed the Titan Rush, while Brittany offers to help out New Directions as a dance instructor.

Friday, September 20th, 2030

Kurt and Blaine meet with Dr. Katriona (Kitty) Wilde, the fertility specialist

Saturday, September 21st, 2030

Neal Armstrong Elementary School's Fall Concert, Featuring soloist Elizabeth Hummel Anderson and Pianist Burt Hummel Anderson

Friday, September 27th, 2030

Invitationals. Blaine learns that Hunter Clarington is the new director of Vocal Adrenaline.

Saturday, September 28th, 2030

Two embryos are implanted into Brittany.

Friday, October 4th, 2030

Ultrasound shows that not only did both embryos attach, but one has split, and Brittany is carrying three fetuses.

Wednesday, October 9th, 2030

The New Directions learn who they will be competing against at Sectionals.

Thursday, October 31st, 2030

The Hummel Andersons, the Schuesters, and the Abrahms families celebrate Halloween at a Trunk or Treat organized by Burt Hummel and several local businessmen. Lizzie Hummel Anderson entertains the crowd by singing Defying Gravity. Marley's water breaks.

Friday, November 1st, 2030

Delilah Lynn Puckerman is born.

Saturday, November 23rd, 2030

New Directions ties with The Troubletones at Sectionals. On the drive home after the competition, the bus carrying The New Directions is involved in a major accident after the bus driver, Freddie has a massive heart attack at the wheel. Nearly every member of New Directions, and their director are injured. Danny Schuester, Brenda Henderson, and Blaine all receive life threatening injuries. A Photograph is taken of Kurt and Dave Karofsky sharing a consolatory hug.

Wednesday, November 27th, 2030

Nearly every former member of New Directions arrive in Lima. Pamela Anderson Arrives in Lima. Blaine finally wakes from the Medically induced coma.

Thursday, November 28th, 2030

Cooper Anderson Arrives in Lima. William McKinley students and staff, as well as former members of New Directions and The Warblers serve Thanksgiving Dinner to the families of the students injured in the crash. We Learn that Brenda's heart had a defect, and she is put on a transplant waiting list, but remains in a Coma.

Friday, November 29th, 2030

Sue Sylvester attends the funeral services for Freddie, who once drove the bus for her and her sister Jean. We learn Blaine has Diabetes.

Sometime in the first two weeks of December, 2030

Blaine and Kurt both seek out aide from therapists to deal with their issues stemming from the crash.

Monday, December 16th, 2030

Kurt and Blaine learn that they are actually having four babies, two sets of identical twins.

Tuesday, December 24th, 2030

Sam and Julia get married. Tina gives birth to twin girls.

Wednesday, December 25th, 2030

Brenda receives a new Heart. Burt Hummel Surprises Santana and Brittany by bringing their adopted son, Ke'Andre, home a month earlier than expected.

Friday, December 27th, 2030

Blaine learns that Brenda's surgery seems to have been a success. In a depressed state, he snaps at Kurt.

Sunday, December 29th, 2030, through Sunday, January 5th, 2031

The Hummel Anderson and The Pierce-Lopez Families vacation in California with the St. James family.

Monday, January 6th, 2031

Blaine Anderson returns to teaching for the first time since the accident. Maria Henderson admits to a comatose Brenda that she knows that she'd rather be Brendan, and is transgender. Brenda, now known as Brendan, comes out of his coma.

Tuesday, January 21st, 2031

Tina and Artie's preemie twins finally come home from the NICU. We learn that Madison McCarthy (Now Gentry) Is an Architect in Cincinnati, and Kurt decided to expand their house to make room for the four new babies. He also draws up plans for a new home for Tina and Artie, as well as an Auditorium for the community center.

Wednesday, February 5th, 2031

A photoshopped picture of Kurt kissing Dave Karofsky surfaces.

Friday, February 7th, 2031

Kurt and Dave hold a press conference about the photograph, and Dave reveals the extent of his bullying towards Kurt in High School. George Mathers has a massive stroke and drops out of the race.

Monday, February 10th, 2031

Blaine announces the themes for Regionals. Most of New Directions are still healing from the accident

Tuesday, February 11th, 2031

Snow Day

Wednesday, February 12th, 2031

Chester the Cat alerts the family to the fact that Brittany is having complications with the pregnancy. She is admitted to the hospital and will remain there until it is safe to deliver the babies.

Friday, February 14th, 2031

Xander announces he thinks he may be bisexual, although Dave seems to think the proper term would be Pan sexual, as the person Xander is crushing on is Brendan. Matt Rutherford announces that he wants to produce a film version of Somewhere, Ohio

Friday, February 21st, 2031

Kurt, Blaine, Santana, and Brittany celebrate their Anniversary with Family and Friends. Kurt announces plans to name the new Auditorium at the community center after Santana and Brittany. Matt and Quinn grow close.

Friday, March 14th, 2031

Bee learns he is a finalist in a national children's photography contest. Rachel goes into labor. Brittany is rushed into surgery to have an emergency C section. Katherine Pamela, Audrey Carole, Matthew Wesley, and Phineas Christopher Hummel Anderson are born. Rebecca St. James is born.

Saturday, March 15th, 2031

The Show Choir Committee bans Johnny from participating in Regionals.

Sometime between March 16th, 2031 and March 22nd, 2031

Blaine develops an addiction to the pain meds he has been prescribed for his injuries from the accident.

Saturday, March 22nd, 2031

Kurt confronts Blaine about his drug problem. Kitty marries Greg Jacobson

Friday, March 28th, 2031

Mercedes announces her engagement to George Carver. Despite their injuries, New Directions wins Regionals. The Troubletones and Duly Noted take second and third.

Tuesday, April 1st, 2031

Kurt Hummel earns enough votes to become the Democratic candidate for the November election

Friday, April 4th, 2031

John Grier turns seventeen

Friday, April 11th, 2031

Blaine Anderson turns 32

Sunday, April 13th, 2031

The Hummel Andersons celebrate Easter in the NICU

[caleb-p-lo]

Character Development

So I decided to do a thing. (This was meant to be done a while ago. But school, work, and doctors appointments have been making my life a relay race.)

BASICS AND APPEARANCE:

Age? 23 Date of Birth? May 8th 1994 Hair color? Blonde Eye color? Blue Skin color/ethnicity/nationality? White; Hispanic & Dutch; American (3rd generation on both sides) Accent (if any)? He grew up in Ohio, so he has a pretty neutral American accent for the most part. But living in New York, he’s picked up a few little things here and there. Height? 6′1″ Weight? 175 lbs last he checked Tattoos? None (Yet) Piercings? None Birthmarks? A heart shaped birthmark on his right hip. Disfigurements? None Scars? He has a line about 3 inches long on the outside of his left leg, on the shin. Do they have any nicknames? Where did they come from?

Cal - shortened version of his name.

C - super shortened version of his name.

Brother Bear - his sisters call him this when he gets overprotective

Babe, Baby, Handsome, etc. (There are literally so many it’s ridiculous) - pet names given to him by Izzy.

Mijo, Baby Boy, Ducky - nicknames given to him by his moms Brittany and Santana.

P-Lo Shortened version of his last name.

How do they usually dress? What do they wear to sleep? Do they wear jewelry? - How he dresses will change depending on where he is and what he’s doing.

Just hanging around? He’s probably in jeans and a tshirt.

Going out somewhere nice? He’s a master at the semi-formal look.

Sleeping? Sweatpants and a t-shirt when it’s cold; Shorts and a tank or shirtless when it’s hot.

He doesn’t own a whole lot of jewelry. He has a couple of watches that he rotates in and out. And a few necklaces and bracelets.

Is there anything about their appearance they wish they could change? - Cal’s body has gone through a lot of changes over the years. Going from constantly playing sports and training even on the off-season, to not playing any sports at all, changes a person’s body. And at first those changes were a little strange. But after 5 years, Cal’s settled in and he feels good in his own skin. So he wouldn’t change anything about himself right now. He’s healthy and happy, and he still likes how he looks with his shirt off, so he’s good.

How would they look as the opposite sex? - As the opposite sex Caleb would probably look something like Blake Lively or Eliza Taylor.

What do they smell like? Why (do they wear the scent or does it occur naturally)? - Caleb doesn’t wear cologne usually, so most of the time he smells like the laundry detergent from his clothes and his shampoo & conditioner. He only wears cologne on certain occasions and it will be something like Davidoff’s Cool Water or The Art of Shaving’s Vetiver Citron.

Do they have an accurate mental picture of their appearance (how they see themselves versus how the world sees them)? - Cal knows he’s good looking. But he’ll never understand the attention it brings him.

LOCATION: Where does your character live? Why did they choose it, and how did they acquire it? How do they handle intruders (graciously? violently?)? Describe the space. - Cal lives in a 2 bedroom spacious loft in Manhattan, NY. It used to be a loft shared by Kurt and Santana in their younger days when they were both kicking off their performing careers. The property still belongs to their parents but when Calebella decided to move to NY, Kurt insisted they live in the loft so he knew his daughter and granddaughter would be well taken care of. The only stipulation was, so they didn’t feel completely dependent on their parents, they would pay rent and all of their own bills. Thankfully they’ve yet to have any intruders pay them a visit. But if they were to, Caleb would definitely have a more violent reaction. His home is meant to be a safe space for his family and anyone who violates that will answer to him.

PREFERENCES: Favorite color? - Blue

Favorite music artists? Movies or TV shows? Books or authors? Actors? -

Music Artists: Too many to pick one. 

Tv Shows: Law & Order SVU, Orphan Black, and currently, Sense 8. 

Movies: Hercules and Aladdin (The Disney versions), the Dark Knight, and Kill Bill Vol. 1 & 2.

Books: Peter Pan 

Authors: Rick Riordan and Robert Ludlum. 

Actors: Angelina Jolie, Rosario Dawson, Tatiana Maslany, Will Smith, and Harrison Ford.

Favorite animal? – Tigers & Dogs

What is their favorite time of day? Favorite weather? Season? -

Time of day: Evening. He enjoys having nights that are just down-time. Nights spent lounging around the house with his family are the best.

Weather: Sunny but with a small breeze so it’s not too hot.

Season: Autumn

Favorite food? Favorite drink? Hot drinks, soft drinks, or alcohol? -

Food: Mofongo Relleno de Churrasco (Fried Plantain stuffed with shredded beef)

Drink: Lemonade (Cold); Hot Chocolate (Hot); Whiskey Sour or Daiquiri (Alcoholic)

Political stance? Are they active in politics or do they not care? – For so many obvious reasons, Caleb is very very liberal. And given the recent political climate, he’s more active in social-justice and political movements than he’s ever been.

What are some of their pet peeves? – Coughing/Sneezing without covering your mouth; Blowing your nose at the dinner table; People having loud phone conversations in enclosed public spaces; People who try to judge him and his family.

What sort of gifts do they like? – He prefers sentimental gifts. They don’t have to be big or cost a lot, but things that someone put a lot of thought into mean the most.

Where do they like to spend their time? – Caleb spends most of his time back and forth between work (whether that be the show or the dance classes he teaches) and home. But on his down time you can find him training at the Dojo, or browsing the aisles in Barnes and Noble.

Do they have any pets? Do they want any? – No he doesn’t have any pets right now. But he’s definitely a dog person so he’d like one someday.

What relaxes them? – Music, Family (usually), Reading.

Do they have any bad habits? – Not really a bad habit but probably annoying, he taps on things when his mind is unoccupied. His main bad habit is holding in things when they bother him instead of talking about them.

HOBBIES: What are some of your character’s hobbies? What do they do with their time? - Not one to be idle, he’s always up to something. He teaches some hip-hop and Latin ballroom classes at a dance school not too far from their home maybe once or twice a month. His Martial Arts instructors from Lima helped him find Dojos where he could continue training. He can also be found fiddling with one of his instruments. And on a slow or rainy day, he’s probably reading in a corner somewhere.

ABILITIES: Where did they learn their abilities? –

Dance: Cal’s been mimicking his Momma’s dance moves since he could stand on his own two feet. But soon as she thought he could handle it, she enrolled him for classes at her dance school.

Singing: Santana was always singing around the house, so it was only a matter of time before their home became a live in sing-a-long. And as he grew, Caleb never grew out of it. Stage fright and Insecurity about his voice were grown out of with coaching and lots of practice.

Instruments: Self-Taught via YouTube University (with the exception of Guitar, which he actually learned from his Abuelo.)

MMA: He’s been taking Martial Arts since age eight starting with Muay Thai.

Sports: Aside from MMA, Caleb played Baseball in middle school and Football in high school. Football was his favorite between the two and under the tutelage of Coach Puckerman (Or Uncle Puck, as he knew him off the field), he got to be pretty good.

OTHER CAPABILITIES: How are they with technology? - Caleb is pretty handy with technology. He knows his way around most of the electronic devices he uses. He’s probably the one in a million who actually reads the instruction manual that comes with things.

Are they specially qualified in any particular field? Would they be considered at the top of the field? - Especially qualified? Probably not. He’s good at a lot of things but he wouldn’t say he’s at the top of those fields.

Have they ever been publicly acknowledged for anything? (Ex. Nobel Prize) - Not outside of high school.

Is there anything they’ve deliberately sought to improve at? - Caleb is always trying to hone his skills. And right now he’s focused on improving his acting abilities. He sometimes feels like he cheated his way into his profession somehow, having not been classically trained, but he’s working on it.

Do they speak more than one language? - Yes, Caleb is fluent in 3 languages. English, Spanish (he learned these both at the same time growing up), and French. He’s also got a decent conversational grasp of Italian but he wouldn’t call himself fluent.

RESOURCES: Why do they have their resources? How long have they had them, and how have they served the character over time? (Ex. Contacts, money, political power, fame, etc.) – Caleb was born into a fairly wealthy family, and his last name became something of a power in itself in the right environment. While that could be a good thing, it also made him very careful not to lean too hard on those things. Things like contacts and money were almost always in Caleb’s back pocket, but he more often than not chose not to use them. He preferred to get by on what he brought to the table rather than what was already given to him.

If they have an income, where does it come from? – Currently his income comes from performing as Gabe in the soon-to-Broadway production of Next to Normal. 

Do they have a job? Do they like it? How do they feel about their co-workers? - Yes. (See above.) He loves it. It’s everything he wanted to be doing. It’s an original show and everything about it is amazing. His co-stars are fantastic people. He’s the baby of the cast and he’s found great mentors in his co-stars. They all have far more experience on stage than he does, but they don’t look down on him for it. They are very encouraging and recognize his work ethic and ability over his last name and associations (Kurt is included in associations of course) which he appreciates.

STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES: What are some of your character’s more notable merits and flaws (including physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, etc.)? How did they develop? How has this helped or hindered them in the past?

Merits - Caleb puts the needs of his loved ones before his own needs in most situations. He’s the type of guy that will make sure you’re taken care of before worrying about himself. And when you’re struggling, he’s doing everything and anything he can to try and help. He wants to be the person you know you can call in a hard time. This comes from watching how his moms and grandparents are with their family. They’re always making sure everybody they care about is okay and Cal always found it comforting. He wanted to be that for his loved ones too. This can be seen as a flaw by some people. He’s been called a martyr before. But it doesn’t matter to him because he knows that no matter what, the people he loves most in this world know that he’s always there for them. No matter what.                Caleb also tries very hard to not come across as judgemental, and he thinks he succeeds pretty well. He wants people to feel free to be themselves around him, whoever that may be, and be completely comfortable. This again came from his family, but it also came from his personal experiences. He’s been bullied before for other people’s lack of understanding.                Cal is one of the most loving people you could ever meet. He has a big heart and he's always trying to make people around him feel appreciated and irreplaceable.

Flaws - He has quite a temper and when you’re on the receiving end, it’s not a fun experience. His anger doesn’t play favorites and unfortunately he’s a master at hitting where it hurts. So if he’s not careful, what would otherwise be a simple argument could turn into a fight to end a relationship. The running joke is he gets said temper from Santana, who everyone knows has a whip for a tongue. But he’d rather keep his contained. In the past, Cal has almost lost friends and loved ones because of his temper. A lot of people have a hard time dealing with the levels he can take things to and he completely understands why.             He’s also not the best at dealing with things that upset him or make him insecure. It’s easier for him to pretend something doesn’t exist than to deal with the negative emotions surrounding it. This makes him pretty hard to decipher when he’s hurting, and even harder to help.             Combine the two, and it makes for a sticky situation when you’re on his bad side. He can go from real emotional to feeling nothing at all, on command. And when you’re not ready for it, that quick 180 can be a little devastating.

RELATIONSHIPS AND HISTORY: What is their family history like? How does it affect them? How do they feel about their family? How does their family feel about them?

          Caleb has always known since he was small that his family was different than how most people would define one. He didn’t have a mommy and daddy like many of his friends, but he was never ashamed of that. He was always proud to have two moms and he never let anyone take that from him. He knew that growing up with two moms was going to have its struggles. People would look down on him and them, they’d laugh, they’d tease him, but it just rolled right off of his shoulders. He would always just say they were just jealous, because there was more love in their household in a day, than most of those people would experience in a lifetime. Cal was extremely proud to be his mothers’ son. They were amazing women, and they did so much for not only their loved ones, but their communities.

          But Cal’s family life did impact him in a way he wasn’t expecting. Caleb is bi-racial; one half Hispanic, the other half White. And inside the P-Lo home it obviously wasn’t an issue. Inside their home, Cal and his sisters were always surrounded by their culture. They even grew up speaking Spanish as their second language. But the kids quickly found out that once they were outside of their home, it was a lot harder to feel connected to that culture. Caleb took this lesson really hard as the years passed. Even now, Caleb finds it difficult to relate and in certain situations it does take a toll on him. But for now, as always, he pushes these things down and tries to focus on positives instead.

          Caleb’s family loves him so very much. They are so proud of who he is and what he’s been able to accomplish. Although they are all scattered across the country sometimes, they are all as close as ever. His mothers still love to call and harass him as often as they have the chance (especially with all the wedding planning things they want to “help” with). And he is always in contact with at least one of his sisters throughout the course of his days.

CHILDHOOD: What were they like as a child? What was their favorite toy? Favorite game? - Caleb was kind of hyperactive as kid. He was always running around and climbing or jumping off of things. It made his moms pretty nervous when he was small. He also had a bit of a knack for finding trouble. In his early elementary school days, both his parents and school counselors were concerned because Caleb kept getting into fights with classmates. They were concerned that as he grew the fights would turn more physical than they already had, and they believed he needed extra attention to turn that behavior into something more productive. Hence, contact sports became Caleb’s new extracurricular activities.                As a kid his favorite toy was probably his little plastic lightsaber that he would swear was real. He would clip it to his waistband and be off on his adventures. Actually there was a time period of about a year or so where he wouldn’t go anywhere without it. His reasoning? A Jedi can never be caught without his lightsaber. He wanted to be a Jedi so bad. He’s actually still waiting for his force abilities to kick in.               Caleb used to love to play pretend when he was a kid. He would spend hours in an imaginary world having some crazy adventures. He would draw inspiration from movies and tv shows some days. And other days his mind would spin a brand new adventure of its own. His favorite adventures were the ones he could convince his sisters and his friends to join him on. Because as much fun as he had playing pretend by himself, it always made it a little extra special when there was another leading character in the story of the day.

Playmates? - Caleb spent a lot of time around the Hummel-Anderson girls when he was very small and they’ve been close since practically birth. When the P-Los moved back to Lima, he found quick best friends in Janey Puckerman and Lucky Morales. And after some convincing from his sister, Jason Puckerman eventually came around and found a friend in Cal too.

MEMORIES: Describe their best and worst memories from childhood: Best - Caleb spent a lot of time with his grandparents when the family moved back to Lima and he loved it. But there’s one memory in particular that always brings him joy. It was a time when Santana had a meeting to attend to in Los Angeles and Brittany was going to take the trip with her. It was only for the weekend but naturally they needed someone to watch the kids. They ended up staying the weekend at Abuelo and Abuela’s house and it was great. At one point in the weekend, the kids had the idea to build a fort in the living room. They were sure their grandparents wouldn’t allow it, but to their surprise, they even helped. Abuelo had started stacking chairs and side tables to make a high ceiling, and Abuela had grabbed all the pillows and blankets they could find. When it was all done, they had stayed in there the whole night having a movie marathon and the kids all woke up still in the fort, the next morning. The fort stayed up the whole weekend. That’s actually where Brittany and Santana found the kids (and Abuelo) when they came to pick them up Monday morning. From that moment on, every time the kids came to visit, they would beg to build more forts. And they only got crazier each time.

Worst - One of Cal’s worst memories was a confrontation that had happened when he was 11 The P-Los were out to dinner and some guy had came up to their family screaming at the top of his lungs. He had seen Brittany and Santana kissing and decided he needed to tell them (and the rest of the neighborhood apparently) how disgusting he found them and their “disgrace to wholesome traditional families”. He threw around a lot of words that Caleb didn’t really understand like “Abomination” and “Damnation” and some other words that he eventually learned to despise. Santana had absolutely lost it on the guy and if it weren’t for Brittany reminding her that their kids were present, she might’ve gone to jail that night for what she later said she’d been planning to do to the man. But the worst part was when the guy had gone so far as to start telling the kids that they weren’t really a family; he’d told them that they probably weren’t even related. There was a lot more that had been said that night but at some point Caleb had to tune it out because his sisters and Brittany were already crying, he didn’t want to cry too. For a couple of weeks afterwards, Cal was very distant from both family and friends and it took a while for him to open up to his moms about what that night made him feel.

WHERE IS HOME?: Where (and when) did they grow up? How did they view it as a child, and did that change as they matured? How do they feel about the place now? - Cal grew up in Lima, Ohio. As a kid he always thought it was an okay place to be. He liked it because all of his friends and his moms’ friends were here with them too but sometimes it was just a little too small (and small minded) for him. As he grew older, he realized more and more that Lima was only the product of the people who lived there. And not all of them were bad. It was still a kind of conservative place to live, but not nearly as bad as the Lima his parents had grown up in. The people were still quick to gossip and judge, but their kids were learning more about tolerance and cooperation (mostly anyway). Now, when Caleb thinks about Lima, he thinks about how it will always be a home to him. It was the place that watched him grow up; where he found a new kind of family in his best friends; where he fell in love; where he learned the lessons that would mold him into the man he is today. And maybe when he thought of it that way, it wasn’t so bad after all.

MENTORS & EDUCATION: Do they, or have they in the past, had a mentor? - Caleb had mentors in his parents, his grandparents, and even his “aunts and uncles”. But outside of them, Caleb had one mentor in particular that really helped him shape up. His Martial Arts Instructor, Cesar.

What was their relationship with this person, and how has it changed since then? - Caleb was brought to Cesar when he started having trouble in school with fighting and keeping his temper controlled. His grandfather and Cesar served in the military together back in their day and had been long time friends. So when Caleb was brought in, no time was wasted in getting his training started. But all the years he spent training, taught Caleb more than just how and where to throw a punch. As corny as it sounds, one of the most important lessons Caleb learned was how to walk away from a fight. He was taught self-control, patience, and that not every conflict needed to end with someone on the floor. It was this lesson in particular that was most important to keeping little Cal out of trouble. And if he’d never learned it, he might have been a completely different person today.

          Cesar was always a strict but determined instructor. He made sure that all of his students were pushed to their fullest potential and Caleb was no exception. Now even though they no longer train together, they keep in touch through both social media and their shared connections. And when they end up back in the same town for a few days or so, Cesar is always ready to remind Caleb of his teachings.

What sort of education have they had? Do they want more? - Caleb graduated high school with honors. But he never necessarily wanted to go to college. He tried going to school with online courses for a little while but ultimately realized it wasn’t going anywhere. He was just wasting money on classes to fill requirements for a degree he wasn’t even sure he wanted. Not to mention the time schoolwork was taking out of his already packed schedule.

FRIENDS AND ENEMIES: Who is their closest friend, and why? What do they like to do with this person? - Caleb keeps a tight circle. He doesn't have a lot of close friends but the ones he does have are basically family. His closest friends are Janey and Lucky. Back when they all lived on the same side of the country, it was a lot easier to hang out together.

                  When Caleb and Lucky spent time together, it was always about distractions. There were parties to go to (there were a lot of them), sports to play, and pranks to pull. With Lucky, there was never enough time for Cal to sit down and be upset by whatever was getting him down that time. And even when there was nothing wrong, it was still a ton of fun. But now that they’ve both grown up a bit, they’ve calmed down. They’re still a couple of fools, but they’re a little more stationary nowadays.

                  Janey and Caleb have a completely different relationship. Janey had always been the person Cal would go to for heartfelt (also, usually good) advice, and emotional support. This meant quite a few heart-to-hearts during their excursions. Add in their similar thought processes and this meant a whole lot of geeking out too, sometimes a bit of existentialism thrown in for good measure. Oh, and food! Lots and lots of food. When those two got together, no diner or burger place within a 50 mile radius was safe

Do they have any rivals? Who and why? - Ohhh yes. There is definitely a rival in Caleb’s life. Although in recent years, it’s calmed down for the most part. Marc Vallieri and Caleb never got along. From the day they met, they were almost always on opposite sides of every line. And as they grew, it only got worse. Add in some pretty strong feelings for one Ms. Isabella Humderson, on both of their parts, and it was a recipe for disaster. Caleb tried to be civil while Izzy and Marc were together, but he also tried to not be around so it was a tricky situation. Then when they broke up, all bets were off. It got a little confusing during the on- and-off period but for the most part, Cal just tried to keep his distance. This was working out just fine until it started looking like Cal was finally going to get his chance with the girl he’d been crushing on since middle school. Marc didn’t like that. There were a lot of digs, a lot of jokes, and a whole lot of almost fights between the two boys. It even turned into an all out brawl at one point. (McKinley wasn’t ready for that one, but ask me about that later.) But eventually it turned into more of a stalemate when Caleb came to grips with Marc always being in Izzy and Noah’s lives; and when Marc realized that Caleb was a fixed feature in the family he could’ve had. Now they’re civil, for real this time, and both trying to make it work for the woman and little girl they share love for.

Have they ever been betrayed? By who, and how did it affect them? - The only time Caleb was ever really “betrayed” by someone was when his girlfriend junior year cheated on him. They’d only been dating a few months and it wasn’t a particularly serious relationship. Looking back on it, Caleb only regrets the time he wasted trying to fill a space with someone who wasn’t worth it. But her betrayal didn’t sting too bad in the long run. At first it messed with his head a little bit in terms of feelings of inadequacy. But his friends and family were quick to snap him out of that mindset. After that, though, all it did was make him more careful about who he spent energy on and who he brought into his life.

SEX AND ROMANCE: What is their sexual orientation? Do they ever question it? - Caleb grew up understanding that sexuality can be a fluid thing. It wasn’t something he ever questioned or actively explored, but his mind was always open to the possibility of having feelings for anyone regardless of sex or gender. But at 23 years old, he’s yet to feel any kind of serious attraction or romantic feelings for a man. And since he's about to marry the actual love of his life, it's probably a safe bet that he never will. So if you ask him, Caleb will tell you he's straight.

When did they lose their virginity? Who to? Where? What was it like? - Caleb lost his virginity during spring break of his sophomore year, to his girlfriend at the time. They were at her house and her mom had gone out for the day with her little brother. It was a little awkward as one could expect, being it was the first time for both of them. But all in all it wasn't a bad experience.

What is their favorite sexual fantasy? - Listen, cheerleaders are everyone’s thing. But when your fiancée actually used to be one, it just makes things a little more fun. And yes he knows it’s very cliché.

Do they have any particular fetishes or kinks? - Caleb doesn’t mind a little power struggle every now and again. He also gets a kick out of walking around with any marks Izzy’s given him, exposed. (Bites, Hickeys, Scratches)

What’s the strangest thing they’ve ever done in bed? - Well not strange in general but strange to Caleb. He had a headache one day and Lucky thought it’d be hilarious to slip him a little blue pill instead of the painkiller he’d been asking for. But joke was on Lucky cause as it turns out, medicine isn’t the only way to get rid of a pounding headache.

Is there anything in particular that they won’t do? - Anything involving degradation. He ain’t about it.

What are they attracted to in a partner? - Confidence. And he’s gotta admit, he likes a little fight.

RELATIONSHIPS PAST AND PRESENT: If applicable: Who is their current partner, and what attracted the character to them? - Isabella Hummel-Anderson is his fiancée . And he was initially attracted to her personality. He really just enjoyed the way being around her felt.

How did they meet? - They’ve known each other almost literally since birth. Their parents were close friends for years so naturally, since they were so close (geographically and personally) it was pretty much guaranteed that they’d be spending quite a bit of time together as kids.

How long have they been together? - Since October of 2011 so...5 years going on 6.

What kind of a relationship is it? - The two of them couldn’t find better matches in this world if they were given a millennium to search. If soulmates exist, they are definitely each other’s.

Do they have any plans for the future? - Broad future? Get hitched, raise a family, live happily ever after. Near future? Get through the wedding without killing somebody.

What would be their perfect date? - They’re disgustingly adorable so pretty much anything that involves them spending quality alone time together. But their perfect date night involves nothing but Disney movies, snacks, and cuddles. Also singing at the top of their lungs for all of their neighbors to hear.

Describe one of the character’s past relationships and what was significant about it. - Caleb’s only ever been in one other relationship that actually meant a lot to him. He started dating Alisa Souza their sophomore year. She was an army brat who’d moved to Lima the year before, from Jacksonville, North Carolina. Her and Caleb shared some classes and they became really fast friends. It took them a while to start dating, but when they did, popular consensus was that they were the perfect couple. Their relationship was definitely important to Caleb because it was the first relationship he’d been in where he felt like it was okay to be himself. Every other time he’d tried to date, he always felt like he was meant to play a part. It was also the first time he genuinely thought he could move past his feelings for Isabella. This relationship became Caleb’s basis of comparison for the rest of his relationships up until he started dating Izzy. He learned to take note of different things that could make or (more likely) break a relationship for him; How comfortable he was with the person; How deep (or not) the connection really went; How valued he felt by the other person. The relationship ended because Alisa’s family moved away again, the summer after their Sophomore year. It hurt them both pretty bad, but they managed to stay friends until they eventually just drifted and lost contact.

Have they ever hurt someone they loved? - Unfortunately Caleb has. He wishes he could say he never meant to, but he’d be lying. Again, that temper of his does not play nice.

Do they fall in love easily? - Depends on who you ask. He’d say no, absolutely not. But others would say we’ll never know for sure because he’s been in love with one special someone for as long as anybody can or chooses to remember.

FUTURE: What are their dreams? What do they want to do someday? - Caleb always dreamed of being an entertainer. And he loves being able to do so in his current career. But he wants to expand his skill set and see what the film and tv industry has to offer. He’s actually already started trying, going on auditions here and there for small tv roles. But he loves the theatre so he has no intention of leaving it at this moment in time.

Are there places they want to go? Where and why? - Hawaii, Australia, Greece. Why? Cause he’s been told they’re beautiful places to be.

If these don’t apply already: Do they want to get married? - Again, engaged. Yes.

Have kids? - Already has a daughter, Noah.

Would they ever consider adopting a child? Why or why not? - Absolutely. Every child deserves love and to feel like they’re wanted. If he and Izzy can bring a child into their life and give them that, that’d be a beautiful thing for everyone involved.

HEROES AND OLD AGE: Who do they want to meet? - If Cal ever got the chance to meet Mark Hamill or Harrison Ford, he’d probably lose his shit. But it would be the best thing ever.

What about them is heroic? - Caleb’s willing to do whatever he has to do for his friends and family. He would bend over backwards to help them or protect them.

What would the character be like in their old age? - When Caleb’s an old man he’ll be that Grandpa that acts more like a kid than a grown up. His kids will be responsible for making sure he doesn’t run off to get into trouble. And if he manages to sneak away, he’ll be sure to sneak any little ones off with him. He’ll probably also be flirting with his wife like they’re teenagers all over again. It will make the kids cringe, the grandkids laugh, and the rest of the population “aww”. When he’s getting into his senior years, Cal’s going to definitely be older, hopefully wiser, and possibly in a motorized wheelchair. But he’s going to be the same goofball, wannabe Peter Pan he is now.

PLOTS: Describe one (or more) plots you would like to do.

Okay so fun fact, waaaaay back when this whole thing originally came together, I had been toying around with this one plot in my head. It goes back to the original storyline, but we carried some of this plot over so it still exists. Caleb used to be in a touring production of Spring Awakening. While he was going around the country (this is the part where things differ from the way we changed it), Izzy was still in Lima and then going to college in Florida. So one of my genius ideas at the time was this whole elaborate breakup plot that basically just involved the two of them being heartbroken and it shaking up every single relationship with every single person they’d been connected to. And it was great, in my head. There were also a few songs thrown in there for good measure. But ultimately, we never did it because Nicky wouldn’t let me release the angst. It’s okay though, i’m over it now, but it would’ve been a fun kind of shit show back in the day. Anyway, as far as plots i’d like to do currently...I have a list:

I’d really like to see the conversation that happens between Caleb and Marc that is essentially them burying the hatchet.

When Cal first meets Janey and Lucky

And a whole bunch of other ones that I have written down but won’t make sense until we release the list of changes.

VALUES: What is one thing in their past they’re ashamed of? - Trying to push the people that matter to him most away from him. Especially because of the ways he went about it.

One thing they’re proud of? - Caleb’s proud of himself for never giving into peer pressure to be someone he wasn’t. It was tempting sometimes to just go with what everybody else was doing so he wouldn’t have to deal with arguing with people. But every time that temptation came close, he would look around and see exactly the kind of people he didn’t want to become. And although it was a struggle, he made it out of McKinley as one of the few people who knew who they really were on the inside.

What is one thing they feel strongly about? - Equal rights for all.

One trait they admire? - Cal admires when people are willing to look beyond image, and when they’re willing to push past their own impressions, to see the real person underneath it all. He thinks the ability to judge people only on the content of their character is incredible.

What disturbs them? - One thing he will never understand is how people can be full of so much hatred for others. Especially when they don’t even know the person beyond a first impression.

Do the ends justify the means in their eyes? - Not always.

Would they be more likely to act for the good of one or the good of many? - Depends on who the one and many are.

Are they manipulative? - He absolutely can be when he feels it’s necessary.

Are they a leader or a follower? Why? - Caleb is definitely a leader. He might only be leading himself, but he’s okay with that. He refuses to be anything other than the most authentic version of himself, and if that means he walks alone, so be it.

What do they feel responsible for? (Ex. I owe it to the world to do this.) - Caleb feels responsible for taking care of his family and friends.

Do they believe that a person can redeem themselves from mistakes of the past? - Yes. He believes that people can change for the better and while they can’t change the past, they can learn from it and become better people for it.

What scares them? - Cal’s worst fear is not leaving behind a positive legacy when he’s gone from the world. It doesn’t have to be a big thing, or even for a lot of people. But he wants to be a positive influence in something or somebody outside of his own life. If not, he’s scared that it will mean in the grand scheme of things, his life served no purpose.

DEATH: How do they feel about death? Have they been significantly affected by it? - Caleb’s not afraid of dying. He’s not ready to die yet, but he doesn’t fear it. For him, the part of death that scares him is the idea of having to watch his loved ones die. That would break him in unimaginable ways. Luckily, Cal hasn’t lost anyone he’s particularly close to (he’s hoping it stays that way.) But he has come close a few of times. He’s even come close to losing his own life on a couple of occasions. And all it’s done is made him more grateful for the time he has, and the people he has around him.

How would they like to die? - Cal would like to die in his sleep. Sounds corny, but he’d rather go out in literal peace.

RELIGION AND BELIEFS: Is the character religious? What are their views, and why or why not? - Cal’s not religious at all. He’s agnostic but also polytheist. Basically he isn’t sure if any God exists or not, so why not believe in them all? He thinks the stories written in the bible and other religious texts are just that, stories. But there’s nothing wrong with telling a good story. His only issue with religion is that people then use these stories to cause pain to others and he’s not about that.

Do they value faith over reason or vice versa? - Reason and Faith each have their time to be valued, as far as Caleb is concerned. But he’s more inclined to value reason over faith. He can accept logical reasoning a lot easier.

Do they believe in an afterlife? - Yes. He’s just not sure which one he believes in. Right now, he likes the idea of Elysium.

Do they have any habits that reflect their beliefs? (Ex. regular prayer, vegetarianism, etc.) - None that can be recalled.

Do they respect the beliefs of others? - Of course. Everyone is free to believe whatever they believe. Just don’t use your beliefs to do any kind of harm to others and Cal has no issues.

RANDOM: First crush? - Alexa Vega in Spy Kids 2. He thought she was really pretty and funny and her attitude would be perfect for her to fit into his family.

Do they have any prominent sensory associations? (Ex. the smell of their mother’s perfume, the sound of ice cracking under their feet as a child, etc.) -

Sound: The sound of footsteps on the hardwood floor of an empty dance studio; The beeping of hospital monitors; Rain pattering against his window

Smell: Fresh cut grass; Fresh baked brownies; Burning charcoal

Sight: The stars from an open field; Flickering diner signs; The black and white old school movie countdown

Taste: Fresh popped popcorn; S’mores; Vanilla soft serve ice cream

Touch: Crushing fallen leaves in his hand; Soft pillows; The cold when you first dive into a body of water.

Stuck in a waiting room. Which magazine do they pick up? - National Geographic or Time.

[mrsmythe101-blog]

What If cat really spelled dog? (The Fire Wheel. 2017. Volume 1.)

WE ARE BACK! I can tell you excited cause you moist. More movie blogging by a guy who doesn’t know shit about cinema. Ok so 2016 was a great year for films and we passed the goal of 100 and then some. Same goal, new year. The only thing different is instead of movies competing against each other, I'm going to go the boring (not boring) route of a grade. Keep it simple stupid. Here we go.

1. First Wives Club (1996)- Not sure why I picked this number one for the month but hey it happened. Very enjoyable with a great cast. But it is one of those kinda over the top in real life that wouldn't happen type of scenarios. Also in movies like these you got to have the gratuitous scene of the ladies dancing and drinking wine. Also Sarah Jessica Parker played against type. I liked that she wasn't as...horsey.        B+

2. Monster Trucks (2017)- Now it is never a good sign when a movie release date keeps getting pushed and pushed more than a fat kid at camp. But this happened to this. I really can’t describe this movie without you thinking I’m doing hard drugs. A water alien. Befriends some white boy. Lives inside his truck which he drives? Rob Lowe is the bad guy. Gah my head hurts trying to make sense of it all. It is a decent Sunday afternoon flick if you are killing time until The Walking Dead comes on.       C-

3. Brown Sugar (2002)- A passable love story involving long time friends who you know get together in the end. The main premise though is their love of old school hip hop so that was cool. I hate new rap. Mos Def is playing a cab driver who happens to rap good. There are some really weird edits and cuts which kinda throws you out the movie. It is what it is.   B-

4. Midnight Lace (1960)- Old school thriller. Kind of a Hitchcock ripoff? Doris Day is the lead and she is getting stalked by some dude calling her house telling her he is going to kill her. She was the original Nicole Brown. It’s twisty and whatnot. Don’t wanna give away too much, but check it out. And no, no black people are in the film.  A-

5. Orphan (2009)- I missed this when it first came out. Family adopts a girl from a orphanage and she is not what seems to be. The twist is so insane you have to see it. Peter Sarrssgard plays the dumbest dad ever. I laughed my ass off.  B+

6. Edge Of Seventeen (2016)- I am becoming a big fan of Hailee Steinfeld. She has it. Very entertaining film with Woody “pass that joint” Harrelson doing great work as her teacher. Great coming of age story but the the nice twist is technically the main character is the biggest asshole pretending to be the good guy. Love that.     A-

7. Cool Hand Luke (1967)- What we have here is a failure to communicate. I never saw this until now. Paul Newman is the fucking man. I do remember way back in the day when my grandma was with us, she said one time. “ Paul Newman is so sexy”. This was a old black woman in her 70′s at the time. Crazy.   The one weird thing was when the dudes were dancing with each other in their tight whites. But they are in prison so yeah makes sense. Cough.  A-

8. Gymkata (1985)- I thought this was the most violent movie I would see this month but wait till number 10. Kurt Thomas was a olympian who some coke head in LA decided to put him in a starring vehicle. The plot is all over the place but he kicks ass and takes names with that magnificent hair of his.  C-

9. Collateral Beauty (2016)- Wow this movie. I can’t give away the twist but see this. Not because it’s great but what the fuck? Will “don't call me fresh prince” Smith is grieving over his daughter and his business partners are worried about him. They are played by Ed Norton, Kate Winslet, and Michael Pena. The twist is so fucked up when you at the context of it is mind boggling. Best thing is Helen Mirren doing her thing. Just see this. Everyone in the theater was like what the fuck was that? Will stop chasing oscars. You came close for Ali but that was a long ass time ago.   D-

10. Hostel (2005)- All these years i stayed away from torture porn. That’s what the kids call it right? I know why I never missed anything. Jeez man. Ok I get the premise and how fucked up shit can get but can these characters be any more stupid? I wanna get laid so bad I am willing to go off with these strange but very erotic European women to a location that seems vaguely dangerous? Sure i’ll buy in. Jay Hernandez’s character got what he deserved. The whole getting drilled in a chair had me literally leave the room. Horror is best in my opinion, is when you leave stuff to the imagination. Not necessarily show it. This nah fuck it, we going for it. Could you imagine going on a first date and they say let’s go see Hostel! Nah, i’m going home.    D+ 

[useyourrwords]

Book Review // All Out – History Has Never Been as Straight As You Think

Details Title: All Out: The No-Longer-Secret Stories of Queer Teens Throughout The Ages Edited By: Saundra Mitchell Authors: Saundra Mitchell, Anna-Marie McLemore, Natalie C. Parker, Nilah Magruder, Mackenzi Lee, Robin Talley, Malinda Lo, Dahlia Adler, Kate Scelsa, Elliot Wake, Scott Tracey, Tess Sharpe, Alex Sanchez, Kody Keplinger, Sara Farizan, Tessa Gratton, Shaun David Hutchinson, Tehlor Kay Mejia Publisher: Harlequin Teen Age: YA Genre: Anthology, Historical, Fantasy Released: February 27, 2018 Trigger Warnings: I don’t have any because I read this so long ago before I decided I needed to start making an actual effort at TWs. Likely there was homophobia, transphobia (I think in Every Shade of Red??? Maybe???) Representation*: OMG, so much!! I will include rep for each story as I go! But safe to say this is heavy gay, I love it.

Synopsis**: Take a journey through time and genres and discover a past where queer figures live, love and shape the world around them. Seventeen of the best young adult authors across the queer spectrum have come together to create a collection of beautifully written diverse historical fiction for teens. From a retelling of Little Red Riding Hood set in war-torn 1870s Mexico featuring a transgender soldier, to two girls falling in love while mourning the death of Kurt Cobain, forbidden love in a sixteenth-century Spanish convent or an asexual girl discovering her identity amid the 1970s roller-disco scene, All Out tells a diverse range of stories across cultures, time periods and identities, shedding light on an area of history often ignored or forgotten. 

This anthology is goddamn important.

If we must lie to the world to be true to our hearts, then we would.

All Out is an anthology written by LGBTQIAP+ authors for LGBTQIAP+ readers.

Historical fiction has long been monopolized by straight people. Often this is explained away as being historically accurate as if we queers haven’t always existed.

Sorry to burst your bubble but yes, we have always existed y’all just like to call us ‘very close friends’ or erase people’s bisexuality because they were in a m/f romance at some point.

Now the gays are staking their claim on their own history and I could not be more excited.

We had done this: Robin’s lost boys and lost girls, the children society had thrown away. We’d woven together a family of orphans and outcasts and exiles. Not one of us shared blood. Not one of us would balk at spilling our own blood for a brother or sister.

This anthology was so damn enjoyable that I didn’t want to put it down.

Honestly, I just couldn’t wait for Elliot Wake’s story because I am trash for his writing but there were so many great stories in here that I didn’t even mind the wait!

Stories that are so good they are worth buying this whole anthology for just them alone are;

 Roja by Anna-Marie McLemore  Burnt Ember by Mackenzie Lee  Molly’s Lips by Dahlia Adler  The Coven by Kate Scelsa  Every Shade of Red by Elliot Wake  Willows by Scott Tracey  Three Witches by Tessa Gratton  Healing Rosa by Tehlor Kay Mejia

     That was how Léon and I left them, both of us showing hearts so fierce these men considered them knives. We left them with the salt-sting memory of us, a brazen girl, and a boy with a heart so fearless wolves were his guardian saints.

││Roja│Anna-Marie McLemore│El Bajio, México, 1870│★★★★★│f/m, trans love interest, Latinx MC│

Roja follows a burja as she works to free her love from imprisonment.

This story was so beautiful and every time I read one of Anna-Marie McLemore’s stories in an anthology I am reminded that I need to read one of her books.

I love magical realism and more than that, I love playing with the idea of cursed families and anger; how to use it and not let it destroy you.

This story starts the whole book out strong.

     │The Sweet Trade│Natalie C. Parker│Virginia Colony, 1717│3.5★‘s│w/w│

The Sweet Trade follows Clara and Pearl as the both escape their husband/husband-to-be in search of adventure as pirates.

This was really cute and had me laughing within the first sentence, unfortunately, that was all it was for me and I wanted something deeper.

     │And They Don’t Kiss At The End│Nilah Magruder│Maryland, 1976│3.5★’s│m/f, ace & black MC, Filipino love interest│

In the time of disco and rollerblades, Dee starts her journey of self-discovery when she questions her sexuality.

This was cute, and Dee’s inner monologue as she’s trying to work out her thoughts and feelings was really accurate, I thought.

Having had a similar conversation with myself before realizing that no, I’m not quite ace but maybe in the grey-ace area, I found this story authentic but really short. I guess I just wanted more.

     “I am the boy most accomplished at not becoming distracted by the first naked woman we draw. Which is something, I suppose.”

││Burnt Ember│Mackenzie Lee│Netherlands, Amsterdam, 1638│★★★★│m/m│

Burnt Ember shares the story of a budding painter who has no difficulties painting nude subjects until one of the subjects is his crush, an ex-classmate.

I love Mackenzie Lee’s sense of humour so much!

Just the awkward and cringey conversations a young person can have with their crush when their flustered and overwhelmed.

This was hella cute!

     │The Dresser & The Chambermaid│Robin Talley│Kensington Palace, September 1726│★★★ │w/w│

Chambermaid Susannah is very frustrated with the new Dresser Mary who seems to have no idea what her job does and doesn’t include. This story follows these two girls as they learn from each other how to do regal hair and how to fall in love.

This was cute but boring. It felt like it went far longer than the story needed.

I don’t know, this just didn’t do it for me.

     │New Year│Malinda Lo│San Francisco-January 21, 1955│★★★│No Romance, Chinese-American sapphic MC, drag/trans side character│

Lily is super intrigued by the queer scene of San Francisco, especially a certain someone who catches her eye at her friend’s family restaurant.

Uhhhhh, I kinda can’t really tell you much about this one because it was a little forgettable for me.

I remember it feeling disjointed and that I couldn’t get into it and not much else.

     “He has a daughter now,” she’d said so many times, tracing glossy magazine photos of Frances Bean with her finger and a wistful sigh that told me she would’ve given anything to trade place with the blond infant. “He’ll fix himself for her. Watch.” I watched. It broke my fucking heart.

││Molly’s Lips│Dahlia Adler│Seattle— April 10, 1994│★★★★★│w/w│

Molly’s Lips follows Annabelle as she and her best friend Molly celebrate Kurt Cobain’s life and mourn his death and shows us how, in grief, we can remember the important things in life, like showing our love for one another.

THIS WAS SO CUTE I CAN’T DEAL! 

I loved it, it was heart wrenching and beautiful and their friendship was so pure and god this was wonderful.

     I had been planning on trying to kiss Vivie for a month at this point. The idea occurred to me one day and then I just decided that I would do it. I was simply taking my time. I watched the other women in the cafe with jealousy—the girls who held hands and wore pants and didn’t seem to care what anyone thought. I wanted to say to Vivie “We are like them,” but what we had felt like a magic spell that I was afraid to break.

││The Coven│Kate Scelsa│Paris, 1924│★★★★★│w/w, Neurodiversity│

The Coven follows Dean as her best friend Vivie seeks to become the next great writer and Dean seeks to clear her brain of the fog and maybe get a kiss from Vivie too.

I really liked this, I identified with Dean when it came to brain fog as someone who has battled mental illness and FMS which makes brain fog a regular visitor.

I love the whole witchy lesbian vibes this story was giving.

     Forty lashes, but forty-five marks on that boy’s back—five of which were mine. As I watched him writhe I could still feel his taut muscles moving against my skin, smell the salt and sea musk of his sweat. My father had said, “If it happens again, I will kill him.” Then you may as well kill me, too, I’d screamed with my hands, stabbing my finger at my own heart.

││Every Shade of Red│Elliot Wake│England, Late Fourteenth Century│★★★★★│m/m, deaf MC, trans love interest, queer POC cast (w/w, ace)│

Every Shade of Red is the diverse af retelling of Robin Hood we all deserve.

No seriously. I loved it. I loved it so much I didn’t want it to end and certainly not like that.

This story broke my heart but was so gentle with it up until the drop. It was just so damn beautiful.

I loved every single thing about it, from Trans Robin, deaf Will and a band of queer misfits making a family and home from themselves because they ones they were born into refuse to accept them for who they are.

Elliot Wake, you are cruel but also can you write a whole book dedicated to this story??? Seriously, I need more of it NOW!

     Sebastian said nothing. Some thought the blacksmith’s boy simple, but it was just that he chose his words with a sharp-eyed precision. Each was a precious gift he was loath to give away. In some ways, it reminded Benjamin of Mariot, of the way she would wrap up her thoughts and tuck her words into her pockets, only sharing what she could bear to part with.

││ Willows│Scott Tracey│Southwyck Bay, Massachusetts, 1732│★★★★│m/m, enby/gender fluid MC??│

Willows follows Benjamin who can remember his past selves in a town where anyone with unnatural abilities is thrown off a cliff.

Guys this one is so fucking weird and yet??? I really liked it.

Don’t get me wrong, I had no idea what was happening or how the magical?? element in this story worked for 90% of the time and yet I didn’t care because I was pulled in straight away and wanted to understand.

Curiosity will be the death of me, honestly.

     │The Girl With The Blue Lantern│Tess Sharpe│Northern California, 1849│3.5★‘s│w/w│

A girl takes an ill-advised walk into the forest and meets a wood- sprite who can help her survive the winter until the wood-sprite wants something in return.

So ummm, this is another one I don’t really remember and this is exactly why I should write reviews within a week of reading the damn book but ya girl is behind, man.  

I think it was cute and the writing was pretty??

I just don’t really remember a whole lot which is probably not a good sign for my enjoyment of it.

     │The Secret Life of a Teenage Boy│Alex Sanchez│Tidewater, Virginia, 1969│2.5★‘s│m/m MC, Cuban love interest│

The Secret Life of a Teenage Boy follows a boy as he toys with the idea of taking off with an older guy, (ADULT!) to avoid telling his much-loved family that he’s gay, so he can live his truth.

Hmmmmm nope. I just can’t guys, I really can’t.

I know that it’s quite common of LGBT+ kids to venture out with older people when discovering their sexuality for the first time but I can’t with the adults being interested in children.

I get it, there’s not that big of an age gap except they’re both in completely different stages of their lives and with different maturity levels and I hate it.

Also the entire time I was getting serial killer vibes because this is exactly how every cautionary tale of a boy who goes missing after running away with an adult man begins.

Every single one of them, and do you know how they end??? With the boy dead.

I will admit that I really loved the MC’s relationship with his sister and how she was encouraging of him to be who he truly is but girl, don’t encourage him to go with the possible serial killer, your mum is right to be wary.

     │Walking After Midnight│Kody Keplinger│Upstate New York, 1952│3.5★‘s│w/w, demi MC??│

Walking After Midnight follows Betsy, a teenage actress that can’t help feeling washed-up and passed her prime already as she takes a night stroll with Laura, a waitress at a small town diner.

This was cute and all but also kinda meh.

Like enjoyed their conversation but I also could have done with more of just about everything.

     │The End of the World As We Know It│Sara Farizan│Massachusetts, 1999│★★★★│w/w, Turkish MC│

The End of the World As We Know It follows two ex-best friends as they become reacquainted when facing the end of times.

I loved this story, it was so cute and fluffy but also didn’t shy away from showing the dynamics of female friendship and how it can turn south.

     The Holy Mother was a virgin who never knew any man, and so is Violante. She prays, she knows the ecstasy of love and longing, desire, and the pure, perfect happiness of hands-on hands, lips on lips, the breeze of fluttered lashes. Yet she has never known any man. Is that not perfect love?

││Three Witches│Tessa Gratton│Kingdom of Castile, 1519│★★★★★│w/w│

Three Witches follows a girl who has been sent off to a conversion therapy facility by her own brother for her love of women, and the nun who nurses her back to health.

Read this and try and tell me you are not changed by the end of it.

I finished this feeling so many things most of which were a mixture of hopeful and broken.

Ugh, I don’t know how to put into words how beautiful this story is????

I just loved it so much.

This book hit the nail on the head when it comes to questioning how something everyone tells you is wrong and is a sin can be a part of who you are, something that you cannot change no matter how much you want it to, or try to pray it away.

     │The Inferno & The Butterfly│Shaun David Hutchinson│London, 1839│3.5★‘s│m/m│

The Inferno & The Butterfly follows two magician’s assistants as they work to set each other free.

This was good, I just didn’t really connect to it that much and felt kinda meh about it by the end.

     “What does it matter if he understands? You’ll be alive! We’ll be together!” “I’m all he has,” she said, and her tone told me her decision had been made. “So you’ll die? You’ll die so he doesn’t have to face his own prejudice?” Her eyes filled with tears, and I hated myself for them. “He’s my father. I’m sorry.” she turned away. She ran. She didn’t look back.

││Healing Rosa│Tehlor Kay Mejia│Luna County, New Mexico, 1933│★★★★★│w/w, Latinx MC│

Healing Rosa follows a Bruja who learned the craft from her grandmother and now must use her gift to save the love of her life. Except that the father of her love refuses to let her help, putting his own daughter’s life at risk.

I loved this story so fucking much.

This story reminded me of all the healing women in my family and how fucking frustrating it can be to not be allowed to just help someone, especially someone you love, because of another person’s biases and prejudices.

I just- It’s just-. Ugh. It’s beautiful and heart-wrenching. Go read it.

We lived. We survived to whisper our names to each other even if we could not yet confess them to anyone else.

As a whole, I really enjoyed this anthology! Like a lot, but I already knew that would be the case.

If you’re craving queer stories, want to see queer people in history, want to read something incredibly diverse, or just want a really good anthology, I beg you to pick this up. It shares both the heartbreaking and hopeful stories of LGBT+ youth throughout history.

My only complaint was that the settings were only in America and Europe and like, us gays are everywhere, man. I wish this collection had reflected that. I also wish there had been more stories from further back in history. I want gay stories from as far back as humanity existed! 

“That is the secret to survival. Teach fear to those who taught you to be afraid.”

Where to buy │Goodreads│Book Depository│Kindle│***

Representation will be an amalgamation of Nadia’s, Elise’s & Destiny’s reviews because, again, this was before I really tried to take proper notes during reading. Taken from Goodreads. If you would like me to include links to purchase books from a specific store in my reviews please let me know! I receive a small commission off the following link

I read this book as part of my 2018 Library Love binge, where I read as many library books as possible to take advantage of my great local library network! To follow my binge reading adventure just visit my 2018 Library Love shelf. Or I’ll also be updating my 2018 Library Love Blog Post as I go!

Have you read All Out? What did you think of it? What’s your favourite anthology?

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[wellmeaningshutin]

Short Story #82: Famous.

Written: 3/30/2017

Maria had been conflicted, since, more than anything else in the world, she wanted to be famous, she wanted to be one of the big time celebrities that everyone talked about, she wanted to be a household name, somebody that everyone had an opinion of, good or bad, somebody that was discussed on television all of the time, she just wanted to be a somebody. However, although she consumed gossip magazines as if she were addicted to them, she knew that there were major downsides to fame that she most likely couldn’t handle, mainly the lack of privacy. Maria was a very, very private person and rarely left her house, causing a lot of her family members to either think that she was agoraphobic, or involved in some sort of illegal operation, but she never told them one way or the other, it wasn’t their business, it made her comfortable knowing that she had a life that only she knew about, so the potential of having people root around in her trash, having pictures of her taken whenever she actually goes out in public, having every little bit of useless information published about her in the gossip magazines that she loved, the potential of having her personal pictures (none of which were sexual, she had no sex drive and didn’t understand the appeal of nude photos) stolen and put all over the internet, for all to see, it was just too much for her. Like a lot of people without real lives, Maria would get lost in these fantasies of hers, and started to feel like they were already real. Since she wanted, so badly, to become famous, it was only, in her mind, a matter of time, so it was more important for her to solve the issue of privacy.

Anonymity wasn’t an option, because that would have required her to be very talented in some field, but the fame she sought out wasn’t related to talent, or skill, it was all about existing, and people loving the fact that you exist, needing to watch television shows of you simply existing. Plus, how could you become a household name if nobody knew your name? And, nobody really knew her name already, so its not like, in her mind, she would have achieved anything at all, she would just be in the same position that she currently was in.

Laying on her couch, staring a coffee table that was completely buried in magazines at a television that was never turned off, constantly running talk shows, game shows, entertainment news channels, reality television, etc, as she would stuff her face with small, circular shaped microwaveable pizzas, Maria tried, desperately, to think of a way to solve her problem, she didn’t know how much time she had left, living as a shut in, until she was suddenly famous, and became lost in a whirlwind of paparazzi, slanderous rumors, companies that wanted her to become a spokesperson, and adoring fans. The fear of becoming famous would give her anxiety, sometimes even panic attacks, and she would walk around in circles, sometimes peeking out the windows, all the while with her lights off, so that nobody would know that she was home, in case it finally happened. At one point she considered buying a gun, a rifle or a shotgun that would look big and threatening, to scare off any adoring trespassers, but that could also have the downside of giving her bad press, like, career ending bad, and then she could end up, again, exactly where she was now, shut inside a house for weeks on end, with only two or three people knowing that she even existed. At that point, she thought, she would have to use the gun on herself, because going from being a somebody to being nobody is, she assumed, a trillion times worse than continuously being a nobody.

For some reason, the thought of plugging herself, when her career was over, seemed like a good idea, but she couldn’t tell why.

One night, after she had used eye droppers to ensure that she wouldn’t cause any damage from the prolonged exposure to the light of her television, she was watching a game show, one of those singing competitions that were hard to figure out what made them different from the others, and the contestants, that week, were supposed to do their songs while dressed as some celebrity from the 1970’s and earlier, as a part of some sort of desperate attempt to cash in on the nostalgia of the teens and middle aged viewers who made up a large majority of the viewer base. One of the contestants had dressed up as Marilyn Monroe and did a cover of The Sound of Silence, which was completely ruined since she tried to display her vocal range and strength, making the song feel like she was trying to sing the national anthem, in the showiest way she could, with ill fitting music and lyrics, but the crowd went wild anyways. It was around 9PM, and at this point in the night Maria was usually sitting directly in front of the television, on her knees, just so that she could reach out and touch the screen whenever she liked what was happening, and it usually took until late into the night for this to happen because she would get tired of laying on the couch all day, and would require a change of scenery, even if it was something as small as moving closer to the television.

As her fingers traced the outline of the fake Marilyn, she thought how sad it was that such a great woman (Maria had never seen one of Marilyn’s films, and had hardly seen any films at all, since she was mostly obsessed only with the celebrity aspect of it all, and whenever she saw films all she could never immerse herself further than “Oh, Brad Pitt is doing a funny accent” or “Why do they keep calling Scarlett Johansen by the wrong name, and why isn’t she getting upset by that?”), such a natural star, had taken her life so early on, being unable to grow into old age where she could- and all the sudden Maria couldn’t continue on. What would have happened to the woman if she did continue to live? Would everyone remember her as an older woman, or would she have stopped being a fashionable age, and would have aged right into obscurity, making her a wrinkled nobody. Would she have ended up like Madonna, desperately clinging to fame, hoping to cash in on her former self as long as she could, causing Maria to cringe every time that she heard Like a Prayer (Maria hardly listened to music, but often watched music videos, just so that she could stay in the loop when some had turned out to be scandalous. Most of the time, they would just be muted anyways). And then, in some leap of logic, she had realized that Marilyn had been a genius, because she had ensured that she would die young, beautiful, at the hight of her career, going out with a bang and sealing her fate as a legend. All legends had to die young, and all legends were house hold names.

That night, after finding a piece of paper that wasn’t covered in practice autographs, Maria scribbled this down:

The best way to become famous is to die at the peak of your fame, and then everyone will always have to remember you for your highest point, you will never ever never have to go down, back into B-List, C-List, or all the way to the lower lists that like stop having letters, past Z, and have to start using numbers, like 3-List. If your a 3-list celebrity, you might as well be an orphan, like an orphan that works in a coal mine or something, to ugly to be famous, having to make sure that their faces are covered in coal dust to hide their shame, hoping to die of black lung or whatever animals lurk around in coal mines, like alligators or whatever. And if you think about it, Jesus was the first person to understand this. He got a bunch of followers, everybody loved him, Christianity became a thing, like he gave “cult following” a whole whole new meaning, and then he was like “Hey, I’m going to crawl up on this fucking cross and die so nobody will forget me” and now there are like armies of fuckers of wear crosses around their necks, bringing him from the household to the worldwide, and its really just a stroke of genius, what he did. And like, his name also is a swear word, even people who don’t want to worship him use his names in moments of angers, the crafty fucker has woven himself into our language, but how can I do this? How can I take this model of fame and use it to sky rocket myself into legend status. What is the most famous I should be before I kill myself?

It was an answer she had trouble finding.

One of her biggest problems was that she wasn’t sure how she could tell when she had truly hit her peak, since most celebrities wouldn’t find out that they had peaked until it was much too late. That also happened to nobodies, especially all of her old friends from high school who used to be incredibly popular (although, Maria was the undisputed queen of the school) and now, whenever she ran into one of them, which happened about once a year, she would see that their lives had become pathetic, they were nearing their bottoms, but they would keep talking about all of the great things they were about to do, making Maria want to pat them on the shoulder and say, “Oh, sweetheart, you’re prime is dead and buried. You were great in high school, but that was high school, and now you’re in your thirties, like that makes this all of this just unbearably pathetic. Get your shit together, and accept where you are.” So, not wanting to end up like one of those people, after she would undeniably become famous, she had to think of a way to calculate the perfect amount of fame to commit suicide.

After some searches of dead musicians online, she couldn’t figure out what was supposed to be more important: wasted potential or legendary send off of people who seemed to be around forever. One one hand, you have people like Kurt Cobain and Tupac, who supposedly (she couldn’t have named one of their songs, but could prattle on for hours about her theory that Kurt had faked his suicide, had some facial surgery done, and is  now living his life pretending to be Rivers Cuomo, of the band Weezer, who she has actually heard a song of, which was “Beverly Hills”) made wonderful music, but died before they could make any more, and people always thought about what could have been. On the other hand, you have people like David Bowie and Kanye West (who isn’t dead, she just gets her news from some very sketchy sources) who were in the industries for a long, long time, who might have changed a lot of things, she wasn’t sure, but seemed to be even more loved as they died, giving them perfect endings. And, don’t forget Michael Jackson who went from being a disgusting pedophile, to suddenly adored, just from dying.

After spending a day accumulating that information, she was a very slow reader, it lead her to realize that she didn’t know what any of the information meant, she didn’t really have an idea of how fame worked, and only knew that she was destined for it. However, through a couple accidental clicks and a stroke of luck, she realized that there was a whole section of celebrities that she had never thought of before: assassins. These were her notes on the subject:

In a way its a genius ticket to fame, like, all you have to do is find somebody who is extremely famous and kill them, then you instantly get their level of fame. Like you have Richard Kennedy who was assassinated by Lee Harvey Oswald, and no every time that people think of the dead president, they think of the man who got a couple shots in on him. Not only that, but suddenly that dumb fucker who was only known as “Lee”, like gets his full name used all of the time, like people can’t just say “Lee Oswald” they have to say “Lee HARVEY Oswald”, like he has a whole special level of infamy. Same goes for Jesus, who only goes by his first and last name, which makes him a chump, even if people pray to his mother to stop their periods or whatever they do, like, because like the guy who killed him, Judas Wilkes Booth, has his full name used, and people always associate him with the big J. There’s something about infamy that people have a certain amount of love for, like World War Two was supposed to be such a big deal or whatever, but the only thing that I know happened was that Hitler killed some Jews or something like that, and he is supposed to be the villain of that whole war. Who talks about the good guys? When the big drug dealers go down who like talks about the people who caught them, like the FBI agents who had to go through car chases or whatever to get the drug lords

And if you think about it, infamy (just learned about this word) is even bigger than fame, because theirs more letters in infamy than they’re is in fame. Two extra letters to be exact. So, I’m young, I’m almost thirty but I can lie about my age, and all I have to do is kill somebody as big as Jesus, kill myself afterwards to maintain a perfect peak (so not only will I have maximum fame levels but I will also never have to worry about having my privacy invaded because I will be dead, which is like the perfect kind of privacy) and then I will become somebody that people wear masks of. I will become a swear word. I will be a popular Halloween costume, people will get tattoos of my face on their body, maybe they will even tattoo my face onto their face so that they will look like me, or rich girls might even get their noses done to look like my nose.

There was another problem in her plan, which was she had no idea who was, right now, as big as Jesus. Would any head of a religion do, or would she have to kill one of the heads of a special religion? What were any of the big religions, right now? These were questions she couldn’t answer, so she just decided to watch reality dance shows, then reality dance shows where children danced while their unkempt mother’s yelled at them, then singing shows, then reality shows where people just existed, and that was when Maria realized who she could kill. She would find one of those reality shows, walk onto the set while the cameras were rolling, then kill the whole cast, gun them down, on live television (she thought that reality television was live, and figured that the differences in the times in real life in the show were due to “Time Zones”, which she didn’t really understand either), in front of the whole world (she assumed that everyone had the same habits that she did, except they were way less special than she was) and become Jesus/Judas levels of famous. If the cast of Rich and Spoiled were her gods, then they were the people she would have to kill, and since there was a lot of them she would soak up all of their individual fame, allowing her to transcend the current fame boundaries.

Maria believed that you had to be able to brutally murder the ones you loved in order to put yourself in a better position, but she wasn’t antisocial, she just had been isolated for so long, mainly interacting with people in extremely disconnected ways, that she kind of forgot that other people were real in the same way that she was, which was one of the reasons she believed that she was destined to be famous.

Buying a gun was the hardest part of her plan, mainly because there was a ten day waiting period to get her handgun, so she had to sit around in her house, staring at her television, knowing that she would soon be famous. In preparation, she always stayed close to her television, trying to feel what it would be like to be where the celebrities were. Sometimes when the cast of Rich and Spoiled, who she nightly dreamed of mass murdering (usually with a gun, sometimes with an axe, and, in one dream, she killed them with lasers that came out of her hands, but that also disintegrated her hands after they were all dead, so she couldn’t zap herself and had to continue living, slowly fading into obscurity, which caused her to wake up in a deep sweat and leave the lights on for the rest of the night, to fearful to go back to sleep), were talking to each other, or were involved in some pointless form of drama, she would talk to her television as if she were there too. This lead to her starting to forget that it was initial practice, and she would occasionally believe that she was actually a part of the drama, which had often made her so angry that she would threaten to hang out with her good friends on E!, but this was mainly a bluff since when she did switch back to R&S, she would find everyone hanging out without her, having a good time, and it made her afraid that she had peaked.

On a few occasions she had tossed her drink at the television screen, when she was upset at one of her friends, and once she clawed at the screen, trying to pull one of the girl’s, who she had believed to have insulted her, hair out. None of this felt any different than what she had already been doing, they were still as real as she previously believed them to be, and it made her feel as if she were some sort of spy, becoming buddy buddy so that they wouldn’t expect it when she opened fire on them. By the eighth day, she realized that she might have started to become famous, since she was hanging around all of these celebrities, and figured that she probably was having new levels of fame to add onto all of the ones that she would absorb, when she sacrificed the cast. The idea made her mouth water, and for the first time in her life she felt an urge that could be described as sexual, in her eyes, but was actually caused by a rash that was forming on her groin.

On the tenth day, when she finally had the gun, she paced around in her living room, waiting for the show to come on, half worried that they had caught wind of her plan and were hiding away from her, planning on never airing and successfully hoarding their fame all for themselves. In a moment of paranoia and desperation, she considered flipping over to MTV and killing whatever pop star may have showed up on the channel, but she knew that now wasn’t the time to be impulsive, assassins only had one shot to make, and if they missed it would all be worthless, and if they picked somebody who was hardly famous, then they would fade into obscurity in a matter of years. Certain kinds of fame had expiration dates, and trying to kill those types of celebrities would only be a temporary solution, and knowing this allowed her to stay away from the music channel.

Finally, as she was walking in circles around her magazine pile that was hiding her coffee table, she heard the theme song of Rich and Spoiled, spun around and dropped to one knee, aimed her pistol at the screen, and waited until the opening sequence was almost done, waiting for the part where the whole cast was standing side by side, and when she finally saw it, no time was wasted and she sunk five rounds into her television, shattering the gas and causing it to smoke. Then, already feeling her newfound sense of fame start to fade, she put the gun into her mouth, pointed at its roof, and pulled the trigger.

Almost a year had passed until anyone had found her body. There was no mention of her death, not even in the obituary, since her mother felt like it had been to late to be appropriate. There was no funeral, what remained of her body was cremated, and its ashes were left with all of the other ashes of the people who nobody cared about.